There I said it, and why not start with the most click-friendly name among people who are not running for President of the United States and/or are not Noah Syndergaard?
Actually, Curry and Syndergaard have something else in common this week, which I will get to shortly.
But first, about our current information age: The fact that the news and discussion of the news has become a 24 / 7 phenomenon is all well and good.
Why wait? Life is short, and the sun is expected to explode in about five billion years, so even Bartolo Colon has an expiration date for his career arc.
There is a flaw in the formula, however. Humans (so far) have not solved one of their central inefficiencies, which is a need to sleep several hours every day or night.
This means choices must be made about whether to watch Stephen Curry play basketball into the wee hours or to go to school or work or interact with loved ones or walk the dog.
True, late-night sports events on the West Coast have been a fact of life for Easterners for many decades.
Blame Jefferson, Monroe and whoever else was behind the Louisiana Purchase, which got the westward ball rolling that eventually came to rest in California with the Gold Rush and later with Vin Scully leaving New York.
But it hurt more than usual lately, especially Wednesday night, perhaps because we have grown so accustomed to seeing, hearing and reading whatever we want, whenever we want.
Rarely has a seemingly nondescript week in May produced so much frustration, including the fact that Syndergaard decided to hit two home runs for the Mets at Dodger Stadium in a 4-3 victory Wednesday night/Thursday morning.
Meanwhile, up the Pacific Coast in Oakland, Curry and the Warriors were doing their thing again in closing out the Trail Blazers, 125-121, in another thriller in their second-round playoff series.
This happened two nights after Curry scored 17 points in overtime in a 132-125 victory even further up the coast, in Portland.
On both occasions, it was after 2 a.m. Eastern Daylight Savings Time before Curry made his way to the interview room. After the clincher, his comments were carried live by ESPN starting at 2:33 a.m. Thursday.
(Tangential aside: NHL players usually speak to reporters about five minutes after a playoff game ends. NBA players usually first shower, dress and get their fashion ensembles du jour assembled for the cameras.)
The good news about the Internet age is that it is easy to catch up on developments in the morning. Want to hear Scully call Syndergaard’s second home run? No problem. See Twitter. Same for Curry highlights. See Everywhere.
But still . . . it’s sports. It is supposed to be enjoyed live. That is why advertisers remain interested in a dwindling universe of DVR-resistant programming.
For those of us who realize that hockey is the best sport, there is the added challenge of playoff overtimes that can go on, and on, and on.
Game 6 of Sharks-Predators ended early in the first overtime, after midnight Eastern Time Tuesday. They will be at it again Thursday night, with a 9 p.m. EDT start, meaning another late night for those of us who are into that sort of thing.
Shrug. This, too, shall pass.
The Mets are due home Tuesday. The Warriors’ games will move into slightly more manageable time slots for the conference final and NBA Finals, at which point people in the West will complain that the games are too early.
Always remember: These are not sports events. Your child’s Tee Ball game is a sports event. Your lunchtime pickup basketball game is a sports event.
These are television shows, and they will be scheduled for whenever rights-holders want them scheduled.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that, most of the time. But Steph, come back to us!