Eddie Scozzare considered the digital detritus before him and likened it to an overcrowded attic, where one never knows what might turn up under an old golf bag or suitcase or hatbox.
One problem: "God forbid when I die and someone has to come in and clean it out," he said.
Then again, he added, "I guess it is job security."
That is because there likely is no one alive who could figure out Scozzare's filing system for the audio "drops" he uses to augment WFAN's "Boomer and Carton" morning show.
And even if there were, the trick would be pulling the trigger fast enough to make it funny.
"Sometimes I don't know how he gets to them so quickly," producer Al Dukes said. "Like a drop of Boomer [Esiason] saying something completely ridiculous, taken out of context, he's got that labeled under 'Boomer' and there are 200."
Not quite. There actually are about 700 clips in the folder reserved for "Virtual Boomer," containing all manner of Esiason utterances.
That is separate from the primary "treasure trove" Scozzare uses to insert words and sounds from assorted sports personalities, living and dead, real and fictional. The count there: nearly 2,500, featuring John Sterling, Suzyn Waldman, Mike Francesa, Forrest Gump, George Steinbrenner, Michael Jackson, ALF, Pauly D . . . well, pretty much everyone and anyone.
As he scrolled through after Wednesday's show, Scozzare noted dozens of files he ought to delete or move because they are outdated or irrelevant or just out of sequence.
For example: Joe Benigno appears under "B" for Benigno, and also "J" for Joe.
And all that is located on one of two computers Scozzare uses. The other houses 50 evergreen clips, from Chris Russo calling Dukes "Al Hughes" to Omar Minaya's famously convoluted explanation of the Mets' pitching rotation to update man Jerry Recco apologizing for a play-by-play mistake.
How does he keep all this straight?
"I really don't know the bio-science behind it. It's just some people can do certain things and they are practiced and trained and it must become part of how their brain works, I guess," he said. "There are people who can play 50 chess games at once and win, or who can count cards or whatever.
"I just have a skill -- and it's not perfect, by the way. There are many times I don't think of something or can't get to the drop in time. And knowing when to pull back and not force it is as important as being able to drop it properly."
Scozzare's job is multifaceted, including playing and logging commercials and overseeing the technical aspects of the show, but his emails describe him as "Button Pusher for Boomer & Carton."
He began experimenting with funky drops in his first full-time job at WFAN, with Steve Somers' overnight show in 1991. But the technology then made such gimmicks a time-consuming chore.
"Now Boomer will say something and within sometimes 30 seconds I've got it isolated and ready to go," he said.
Scozzare, 47, joined Esiason and Carton shortly after their show launched in 2007 and only gradually integrated himself into the on-air production.
The first widely used clip was of Russo mangling Dukes' name. Soon Scozzare added one in which Esiason used somewhat off-color language. Esiason initially was not happy about it, but he soon bought in.
"That is a credit to him, to change and allow us to not only make fun of him but also to have him say some pretty risqué things," Scozzare said.
Over time the digital list grew, as did its prominence.
"I had to earn that trust, so that's why I sort of built it up slowly over the years," Scozzare said. "That was a credit to Craig to give me a leash slowly and then he kind of saw what I do. After a few years, he gave me free rein and he trusts me."
Said Carton: "He gets a little out of control sometimes. His ego gets the best of him. But we hope with Eddie he just gets more than 50 percent of them right and doesn't interrupt what we're doing."
Scozzare said getting a reaction out of the hosts "makes it all worth it and fun."
"The best part is when he does it when we're not expecting it, when we haven't set it up and it works naturally and organically," Carton said, "so it's absolutely a part of the show, and it's not going to go away."
It's a wonder Scozzare can function at all, given a schedule that has him rising at 1 a.m., watching "SportsCenter" to get caught up, leaving his home in New Jersey at 2:30 and (on a good day) finding a parking spot near the studio by 3:40.
He said it helps keep him sharp that he is on live radio for four hours each day, with no choice but to keep up.
"There is a little bit of pressure because it is live radio, but it's more fun than anything else," he said. "I don't know what the life expectancy of an air traffic controller is, but I can't imagine it's that long in that job, with people's lives literally in your hands.
"That's the only thing I can compare it to is something like that, where you're constantly aware of what's going on. But obviously if I screw up, no one's going to die."