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The Bottom Five: Jets put out welcome mat, Eli hits the deck, DeSean flops once too often, and Amare takes care of things

New York Knicks' Amare Stoudemire reacts during the

New York Knicks' Amare Stoudemire reacts during the second half of the NBA basketball game against the Denver Nuggets. (Dec. 12, 2010) Photo Credit: AP

Had I written a Bottom Five list last week that included the Giants being stranded in Kansas City, the Metrodome collapsing, the game being played in Detroit, Steve Smith suffering a knee injury that will not only end this season but could jeopardize the start of the next one for him, and Brett Favre being on the inactive list for the first time in almost two decades, it would have been pretty funny.

And pretty accurate.

This week the Giants are playing the Eagles in what is the most important game of the season. Tom Coughlin keeps saying it’s the most important game because “it’s the next game,” but really it’s the most important period. After this the Giants face two teams with questions at quarterback who are either eliminated or having their playoff hopes slip away.

Anyway, there are plenty of big storylines to focus on in this game. Vick. McCoy. Jackson. Nicks. Bradshaw. Jacobs. Eli.

You can log onto any of a dozen or more websites and find the Top Five Things to Look For on Sunday. Here we go straight to the end of that list, of course. So here is this week’s Bottom Five Things to Look For. Let’s just hope they are more funny than accurate this time.

5. To get their revenge on the Giants, the Jets insist that the Eagles’ bus stop at their Florham Park facility on the way to the New Meadowlands to freshen up, use the bathroom, stretch their legs a little bit during the hour and a half drive.

4. On fourth-and-goal from the 7, Eli Manning takes a snap and drops back. A lane opens up down the middle and Manning has a clear path to the end zone for a touchdown. Just as he’s about to reach the end zone for a touchdown, though, he slides – a month late – and is ruled down at the 1.

3. Shaun O’Hara does not play, saying instead that he is resting up for the Pro Bowl. “The fans have spoken,” O’Hara says of leading the NFC in voting at center for the honor of playing in Hawaii. “Giants fans make up only 1/32nd of NFL fans. I have to look at the big picture here.”

2. DeSean Jackson is injured during warm-ups. While practicing his backwards flops into the end zone, he hits the ground awkwardly and bruises his hip.

1. Final score: Amare Stoudemire 35, Eagles 27.

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