The Giants will be flying to Houston on Saturday and playing the Texans on Sunday. It will be the first daytime road game of the season for the Giants. I don’t know what that means, but I don’t know what a lot of things mean either. Which is why I read the entire list of things to look for in each week’s matchup.
Other places, of course, give you the top three or top five things to look for each week. Here we go all the way down to the bottom to deliver you the Bottom Five Things to Look For. So here they are, as the Giants prepare to face the Texans:
5. Sage Rosenfels, who spent three years as a backup quarterback in Houston and actually had 10 of his 12 NFL starts while a member of the Texans, returns to the scene of the only play anyone really remembers him for after 10 years in the league: The diving attempt at a first down that resulted in a helicopter spin and fumble that the Colts returned for a touchdown in a 2008 collapse.
4. The Giants’ injury woes continue, but this is a big one. Jesse Armstead, who delivered an impassioned Saturday Night speech that propelled the team to victory a week ago, is unable to address the team due to a head cold. After coming out flat and losing by 35 points, the Giants players blithely shrugs and blame Armstead for the loss.
3. Tight end-turned-fullback Bear Pascoe will be asked to play both ways – offense and defense – stepping in as a defensive end and replacement for Mathias Kiwanuka. By the end of the game he will also be the team’s punter.
2. A still-woozy Jay Cutler wanders out on the field at Reliant Stadium. The Giants generously point him in the direction of Carolina, where the Bears are playing the Panthers.
1. Brian Cushing shows up for his first game after a four-game suspension weighing a slovenly 400 pounds with little to no muscle definition. “It was the only way I could beat Overtrained Athlete Syndrome,” he says while munching on a Gordita Supreme from Taco Bell.