74° Good Morning
74° Good Morning

Tom Coughlin can't come up with a retirement joke, so we pitch in

New York Giants head coach Tom Coughlin reacts

New York Giants head coach Tom Coughlin reacts to a call during the first half of an NFL football game against the Washington Redskins in Landover, Md. (Dec. 3, 2012) Credit: AP

Today at the Combine, Tom Coughlin was asked about Terrell Thomas’ guess from earlier this week that the coach had “one more” year left in him.

“You know, I tried to think of something funny to say about that,” Coughlin said, “but I don’t know what to say about it.”

Well, he should have just called me. Here, free of charge, are five funny things that Tom Coughlin could have said in response to Terrell Thomas sending his gold watch to the engraver:

5. “My work in this league will not be completed until every man, woman and child in America calls it ‘the green zone.’”

4. “I flew home to Hattiesburg, Mississippi, to think about it.”

3. “I have the energy and enthusiasm of a man half my age. In other words: Dennis Allen.”

2. “Don’t worry: When I do retire I’ll announce it on Twitter.”

And …

1. “So this guy hasn’t played in two years, has had three ACL surgeries, may not have a position, and just had a long-term contract replaced by a one-year deal at the minimum salary … and he thinks I’m done?”

Feel free to add your own in the Comments below. As always, let's try to keep it classy!

New York Sports