Randy Couture is scheduled to throw the first pitch at Saturday afternoon's A's-Rangers game in Oakland a few hours before the start UFC 117.
Whether you think Couture has enough left in the tank to stop former boxing champion James "Lights Out" Toney at UFC 118 is a topic for another day. Right now, we can't let "Captain America" be one of these dudes who embarasses himself with a wimpy first pitch.
So, Randy, if you or your people are out there (and any other fighters who will eventually get this honor), here are some survival tips for throwing out the first pitch:
1) Throw from the actual mound.
Don't be one of those chumps that stands in front of the dirt. It's only 60 feet, 6 inches. You punch people in the face and are willing to have them to do that to you for a living. Man up and throw the ball.
2) Throw a strike.
Seriously. If you can't throw a strike on the mound, how can you land precision strikes in the cage? If for some reason you don't even reach the plate, pray that YouTube servers go down for several days afterward.
3) Bring the heat.
Never mind the curveball, Randy, give him the heater. Don't be afraid to throw hard. The guy catching the ball routinely sees baseballs whizzing by him at 90 mph. You think he's afraid of your cheese? (Note: Breaking off a curveball is only acceptable if you signal to the catcher that it's coming.)