It's none of my business, but ...
DEAR AMY: A colleague of mine in her early 60s, "Carol," is on friendly terms with a co-worker in his 30s, "Stefan." Carol's 16-year-old daughter frequently sends text messages and talks on the phone with Stefan, often during work hours. Carol thinks it's cute. Other than blurring boundaries, I don't understand why this bothers me. It seems I should just be able to ignore it and let it go. What are your thoughts?Wondering
DEAR WONDERING: I agree with you that a teenager in frequent independent contact with her mother's colleague who is twice her age is boundary blurring and a little creepy. Before you ignore this and let it go, you should express your concern and say to "Carol," "I can't help but think this contact isn't a good idea. I realize she isn't my daughter, but are you certain this is OK? Are you sure you're comfortable with this?" This is not your business, strictly speaking, but one way for parents to gain perspective on their own children is to be aware of the views of people who care about them and their kids. I also wonder about the man on the other end of this contact.
DEAR AMY: I sympathized with "Grouchy," the older gentleman who had neighbors with kids who constantly hit baseballs into his yard. Our neighbor kids were hitting balls into our backyard and constantly retrieving them. I told the family in a friendly tone that it is unsettling to see people in the yard, and that I would prefer that the kids not go in the yard but that I would throw the balls back myself from time to time.
They knew they needed more balls to allow for overthrows, and I noticed they also changed the direction of their batting. It worked out with no hard feelings. Been There
DEAR BEEN THERE: Several readers suggested a version of your solution, to collect the overthrown balls and return them when it is convenient.