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'Escapology' Isn't a Star-Maker

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On paper, Robbie Williams seems unstoppable. He's a boy

band refugee with an acid tongue, a brainiac smarty-pants masquerading as a

himbo, and after signing a much-ballyhooed $150-million deal with EMI last

year, a clever artist rolling in dough.

On record, though, he is clearly stuck in a rut. Williams' latest album,

"Escapology" (Virgin), is supposed to make him a star in the United States, but

it won't. It's not a bad album; it simply doesn't pack enough punch to push

him to the next level. To launch his career in America, Williams needed a

breakthrough - one on the same level as his underrated first U.S. album, "The

Ego Has Landed," in 1999. Instead, he offers more of the same slick, slightly

arty pop that failed to win over many American fans twice before.

"Something Beautiful" shows Williams at his best, a broad anthem that sets

him up as a Generation X Elton John, matching his sly pop delivery with a

laid-back groove and a hip-hop piano loop. It's one of those rare songs that

sound timeless and timely at the same time. The first single, "Feel," falls

into the same category, a groovy Europop meditation on his desire for "real

love," delivered with come-hither crooner style. "Monsoon" shows off Williams'

sense of humor, delivering lines like "I'm glad that spending the night

guaranteed you celebrity" and "Yeah, I'm a star, but I'll fade" over an

accompaniment that could have been Night Ranger's follow-up to "Sister

Christian." It's all power chords and winking asides to the glammy hamminess of

it all, which is what Brits love about their Robbie.

Unfortunately, aside from those songs, "Escapology" indulges Williams' love

for big-sounding midtempo ballads that have little to back them up. "Love

Somebody" sounds big and desperate, coming across like a "Saturday Night Live"

skit of Neil Diamond's "Love on the Rocks." "Me and My Monkey" is a

seven-minute epic tale filled with Mexican horns and Britpop bombast that never

really goes anywhere. "Revolution" is a bland collection of cliches like "You

can't keep on keeping on" and "With love in your eyes and a flame in your

heart."

Williams is better than that, yet "Escapology" doesn't really show it. His

dreams of superstardom will have to wait. After all, as he sings in "Something

Beautiful," "You can't manufacture a miracle." He's right. ("Escapology,"

Grade: C, in stores today)

SONG OF THE WEEK: Never mind that he's part of the most successful band in

history. Ringo Starr is making the rounds like a newcomer - in-store

appearances, Regis, Conan, Carson Daly - to support his new single "Never

Without You," a gorgeous tribute to his friend George Harrison. The sentimental

track, which features Eric Clapton on guitar, is starting to get loads of

airplay for Starr, whose strongest solo album in years, "Ringorama," came out

on Koch Records last week. "That's something new for me," Starr told me last

week. "I didn't want to put it out as a single. I wanted to put out 'Eye to

Eye,' but [the record company] told me, 'It doesn't matter what you put out as

a single, they're going to play 'Never Without You.' Of course, they were

right. I like how it turned out. It's the song that George would have played on

if he was still here." Starr isn't really promoting the five-DVD "Anthology"

set, which hits stores today, but with the never-before-seen footage of Starr

jamming with Paul McCartney and George Harrison, combined with the exhaustive

documentary, no one really has to.

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