Friendship is over, but woman won't quit

Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.

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DEAR AMY: I am a happily married 70-year-old woman. I have been friends for 15 years with a single woman. In recent years, the friendship has not been rewarding for me, but I continued to see her out of loyalty. She started giving me unwanted health advice and was insistent until I asked her politely but firmly to stop. Several weeks went by, then I asked her to lunch. She went into a 15-minute tirade about how poorly I had treated her. I said I was sorry, but I told her that she needs to respect my judgment on my life issues. She finally settled down. After that, I did not want to see her anymore. We volunteer for the same organization, and I've been polite. She sent me a long letter about wanting to resume our friendship, then an email inviting me on an expensive trip she would pay for. I replied, saying the friendship was too intense and I no longer had the energy for it. Now I have received a love letter, which is embarrassing and depressing for me. I want to ignore it, but should I tell her one more time that the friendship is over? She has had therapy, and I wonder if she is stable.Too Old for This

DEAR TOO OLD: You have been very responsive to this person, and she has upped the emotional ante each time. If you want to ignore this, you should. You don't owe her more explanations or acknowledgments.

DEAR AMY: I just had to respond to the letter from "PO'd Husband," about his wife's struggles staying away from her co-worker's candy dish. I have a candy container on the filing cabinet next to my desk, visible to all who enter the office. Being diabetic, I know better than to eat candy. I may grab one occasionally, but I know my limits. We are responsible for our own health and should have the maturity and willpower to resist temptation for things that we know are detrimental to our health and well-being.In Control