Take quiet daughter-in-law for who she is

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Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.

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DEAR AMY: My daughter-in-law is a good person, a good wife and a very good mother. The problem is that she is basically an introvert with a limited personality. She is not mean-spirited or mean. She speaks when she's spoken to, answers questions, etc. She rarely initiates a conversation. My son says he has tried talking to her, but he says that's the way she is. My husband says I have to learn to accept her the way she is and not take everything personally. She loves our son and her children. She's a working mother who covers all bases with the kids. I don't know what to do, or if I should "suck it up." Frustrated Mother-in-Law

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Not only should you find a way to accept your daughter-in-law for being herself, but you should also work harder to celebrate her role in your son and grandkids' lives. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert. People who are quiet offer a wonderful balance against the noise of the rest of the world. Please don't try to "fix" this wonderful wife and mom. Your job is to offer a supportive, warm and welcoming family wherein she can occupy her own quiet place.

DEAR AMY: The letter from "Sober Friend" about trying to stop her friend from drinking and driving broke my heart. The woman who killed my son and co-worker in the wee hours of April 2, 2004, is no longer drinking and driving. Her friends took her keys, but she found them and tried to drive home. Now she is in prison. That morning, she ruined her life and broke the hearts of many loving family members of the two men she killed. If you are really a friend to someone who is too drunk to drive, take the keys, call the cops -- do anything to keep her off the highways.Brokenhearted Mom

DEAR BROKENHEARTED: I am so sorry for your tragic loss, and hope this will help others intervene.