Too dating-shy at college?

Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson is a general advice columnist.

bio | email

DEAR AMY: I'm a college student and participate in a club at college. We often work with our "sister club," at a nearby university. My friend "Mark" was hired to be a supervisor for the other school's club. I'm really happy about that because I've known him for nine years. However, as we've been getting closer as our clubs work together, I've become extremely attracted to him. Still, I feel that pursuing him would somehow be ethically wrong because he is in a position of authority. Although he's only three years older than I am, he has this full-time job, which is to "supervise" young adults my age. The very idea of a hired professional dating a student could be considered a bad example for the younger students. I worry that it could threaten his job (and my reputation). I'm not sure if our long friendship would make the situation better, but I wanted to know if it was OK to pursue him or if I should wait until I've graduated to even consider him romantically. Scandalized?

DEAR SCANDALIZED: Your hesitation is sweet. Jane Austen-like, really. But I can't see how dating someone three years your senior who works at another college is a violation of anything: his reputation, your reputation, his career or your future (he is responsible for his own judgment).

Unless this person is married, your direct supervisor or your professor, there's no reason to avoid Cupid's prickly embrace.

DEAR AMY: My wife is wonderful. She is intelligent and thoughtful and kind. There is only one thing that bothers me about her: There is always one thing that bothers her about me. I have asked her to please try to let us enjoy each other. The world is full of people who tell me all of the things that are wrong with me. Can't our home be a refuge from the troubles of the world? Perfectly Miserable

DEAR MISERABLE: Share this letter with her so she can work on her "one thing."