'Star Wars: The Clone Wars'
Rating: 
Not really a movie but more a pilot for the animated series of the same name that premieres this fall on Cartoon Network, " Star Wars: The Clone Wars" has none of the imagination or heart of George Lucas' original franchise. Although Lucas was executive producer, the film feels like an unauthorized knock-off, one of those "tribute" shorts that pop up on fan Web sites. The beloved characters and galactic locales are here, but they're computer-animated shadows of their former selves.
The film, directed by Dave Filoni and aimed at the Saturday morning cartoon crowd, replaces "Star Wars" actors such as Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman with generic voice-over artists. (Anthony Daniels does make a brief ear-appearance as C-3PO). The vague story concerns Anakin Skywalker (voice of Matt Lanter) and his new pupil, Ahsoka Tano (Ashley Eckstein), a red-skinned tweener in a tube top. They must rescue Jabba the Hutt's son, a cooing ball of ugliness who has been kidnapped by Count Dooku ( Christopher Lee) and his female assassin, Asajj Ventress (Nika Futterman).
The animation is uniquely stylized, but not appealing: The characters look and move like marionettes made of painted wood. (As usual, computers can capture scowls and frowns, but not the contours of a human smile.) The personalities you know and love have been badly watered down: Obi-Wan Kenobi is a cheerful bore, Anakin sulks like a teenage skateboarder, and Yoda has become a demanding crank. The only bright spot is Zero, a Jabba relative with a lisp and a feathery scarf: Capote the Hutt?
The film tumbles along in scattershot fashion like the daydream doodles of a schoolboy who just saw the original "Star Wars." Battles rage, characters trade "witticisms" and soldiers bark orders: "We're gonna need reinforcements!" The Lucas universe once held a special magic, but "The Clone Wars" makes that feel like a long time ago in a theater far, far away.
(PG)
PLOT Unclear - something to do with Anakin Skywalker, a new apprentice and the kidnapped son of Jabba the Hutt
CAST Voices of Matt Lanter, Ashley Eckstein, James Arnold Taylor
LENGTH 1:39
PLAYING AT Area theaters
BOTTOM LINE A money-making spin-off from the Lucas franchise, "Clone Wars" has all the magic and heart of a cereal commercial.
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