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Punchlines

Compiled by Ken Rasak, who can be reached at ken@kenrasak.com

March 20, 2008

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Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: "Vice President Dick Cheney spent two nights in Iraq this week. Apparently, it was part of the Iraq vacation package special: If you survive the first night, you get the second one for free."

Comedy writer Jake Novak: "New Gov. David Paterson admits he and his wife had affairs during a 'rough patch' in their marriage. That's OK with New York voters, as long as those affairs weren't with former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey and his wife."

Conan O'Brien, "Late Night With Conan O'Brien": "According to The New York Times, prosecutors suspect Gov. Eliot Spitzer may have used money from his campaign fund to pay for his prostitute. When reached for comment, Spitzer said, 'To be fair, I did get her vote.'"

Comedy writer Patrick Gorse: "It's being reported that Charlie Sheen was also a customer of the escort who brought down Gov. Eliot Spitzer. Sheen apparently was known as client number 'two and a half.'"

Comedy writer Janice Hough: "Despite trailing in the popular vote and in pledged delegates, as spring approaches Hillary Clinton still appears sure she can win it all. Well, she did grow up a Cubs fan."

Comedy writer Jim Barach on pharmaceuticals being found in the water supplies of several cities: "Drug companies now want to charge a copay along with everyone's monthly water bill."

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