Splitsville: Them's (not) fighting words

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Susan Deitz

DEAR SUSAN: What does it say about someone who can't give an exact reason as to why he is breaking up with you? After almost two years together in a committed relationship in which there was no fighting, a lot of caring and plenty of I-love-yous, my now-ex just seemed to wake up one day and decide it was over. I know I need to get over it and move on, but when you've been blindsided, it's not that easy. If he could have at least given me a reason, I'd be able to go on without wondering what I did wrong or what I could have done differently. Any insight from you or male readers would be helpful.

From the Single File blog

DEAR BLOGGER:You had me sighing for you, until you described your two-year love-fest as fightless. How can two years go by without any disputes? In any realistic relationship, partners must have differences. One or both of you must have been hiding grievances that, unexpressed, proliferated like weeds until they took over your garden. If you're a wise cookie, you'll traipse to the nearest therapist and talk this through.

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DEAR SUSAN:The Russian woman your reader is writing to on the Internet could be a scammer milking money from unsuspecting people who are looking for love. My own experience? After reluctantly promising my aunt to put myself out there and find someone on the Internet, I did attract some scammers, but after a week, I caught on to them. I learned the hard way never to give money to someone you just met on the Internet; you can Google people's names and do some research.

The quality of men where I live leaves much to be desired. Many of the men are looking for only one thing, and they are totally honest about that. The others are playing the field, hoping something better will come along.

I was about to give up when I met a wonderful Canadian who treats me like a princess. We are planning to marry next year. That's the wonderful thing about the Internet; you can meet quality people from other places. From the Single File blog

DEAR BLOGGER: It's true that some combinations have worked out, but the adjustments necessary in the exchange of home-sweet-home for foreign culture seem daunting. I wonder why Web-based interest groups aren't the very first place more people go to begin their romantic hunt! Interests and values often are linked, and they can be an enduring bond between lovers.

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