DEAR SUSAN: For nine months, I've been seeing a man I love very much. We live together, but my things are at my place. Since we've been together, he's gained confidence and lost weight. (He's had problems lately, including the loss of his job, but he seems to take it well.) He once gave me a dozen roses, which was nice, but when I hinted for a repeat performance around Valentine's Day, nothing happened. Lately, I'm thinking about moving out, but he says he loves me. Help!
From the Single File blog
DEAR BLOGGER: It sounds as if you rather like the man you're living with, but not enough. Which is exactly the degree of commitment he feels in his relationship with you. If I were you, I'd scurry back to my snug little nest and think about things -- namely, him. I don't think you're entirely sold on him as your life partner -- and ditto for him. You moved into his place so early in the dating game; I wonder why. You should really know someone before you become his roomie, not in the middle of a situation. But nothing has been lost, and valuable experience has been gained. Plus, you've proved your ability to be a positive influence on your man, which should help you in your next relationship -- which should come sooner rather than later.
DEAR SUSAN: A recent blogger said he is single after being married for 20 years, has most of his hair and has a gut that "doesn't respond to exercise." He was whining that some women said they were "too good for him" and "didn't want to partake." It was their snooty attitude at fault, not any lack on his part. He sounds like a balding, middle-aged guy with few social skills and a paunch, and he's wondering why he's not in demand? Somehow I don't think his supposed "niceness" is the problem.
From the Single File blog
DEAR BLOGGER: People who walk around this Earth convinced that they deserve all the good things in life are the most disappointed. This sad lot never learned that good results only come to thoughtful men and women who think about their lives and their actions, striving to be the best they can be. You can recognize this group by the energy they radiate, energy that attracts good things and good people. In a sense, they are love magnets and the true celebrities of our time. These come in both genders and in a variety of sizes, shapes and skin colors. They stand out, noticeable for their quiet confidence and willingness to see beyond their own needs. They are active physically and mentally, sure that a fulfilling life is the result of their efforts, far from being an entitlement.