Citi Field's 2022 menu: The new food options you have to try

OK, seventh-inning stretch time. Altogether now:

Take me out to the ballgame

For hot dogs dressed with fondue,

Lobster tostadas, spiked lemonades,

Rice balls and Tater Tots big as grenades.

Why not buff’lo mac, vegan nachos?

Popcorn and peanuts are lame!

Pizza cupcakes, salmon ponzu

It’s a new ballgame.

If you haven’t been to Citi Field in a while, and even if you have … well, Jason Eksterowicz will explain.

“When we go inside and you taste through some of our offerings today, you’re going to see a pretty nice mix,” he said in front of navy blue curtains on a recent blustery Thursday morning. Aramark’s chief executive chef sounded a bit nervous, understandably so, as Eksterowicz was the only thing separating 100-plus journalists from a free lunch, which even sports types know is a dangerous place to be.

The occasion was the unveiling of the New York Mets’ 2022 concessionary concerns in advance of the team’s home opener on Friday. Behind the curtains, two dozen food stations anxiously awaited the madding crowd. As the introduction proceeded and the crowd inched forward menacingly, Black Friday-style, Eksterowicz — who presides over the stadium’s 500-person culinary staff — opted for a quick wrap-up. “There’s a lot of food, so I hope you’re hungry,” he mumbled, stepping aside.

It was a spectacular array of edibility such as no one had ever seen, or so it seemed, a scene that producedmuch racing about the room, as if a zillion “Supermarket Sweep” contestants had suddenly happened upon Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Getting an exclusive first look at Citi Field’s new giant high-definition Samsung screens was cool, and so was seeing the Francisco Lindor bobble gnome (giveaway date: April 30), but this was the day’s defining moment, and all were determined not to leave disappointed.

One end of the room was dominated by colorful displays of sashimi and nigiri from Daruma (sushi? at Citi Field?), the other by a guy from Pat LaFrieda’s Chop House carving a tomahawk steak into slivers. In-between, a woman dressed as a pizza cupcake danced around Mr. and Mrs. Met, who interacted infrequently in the manner of couples about to seek therapy.

“We’re just so excited to be here at Citi Field and serving people mac ’n cheese all season long,” said a woman from Murray’s Mac & Cheese in Manhattan, a new concession in the Jim Beam Highball Club on the Promenade level. “This is our buffalo mac ’n cheese, and then we have our classic mac ’n cheese,” she continued, pointing out samples. Elsewhere, a pile of cheeseburgers from Shake Shack stared across the room at a pile of fried chicken sandos from David Chang’s Fuku, buffalo fried chicken sandwiches from Sweet Chick, fried chicken tenders from the Amazin’ Chicken Co., and fried chicken tenders from Prime Kosher Sports. I found myself wanting to raise chickens as reparations, in the same way that people who print out a lot of copies often vow to plant a tree.

The best chicken sandwich was by another Citi Field newcomer, Manhattan cult favorite Jacob’s Pickles. The meat was juicy-good and served on a biscuit that was even better — soft, feather-light, utterly impractical. What are those long fried things? I asked. Oh right, pickles.

“Most people do the pickle chip, whereas these are the full spear,” said the Jacob’s man, “so you’re getting a lot of brininess and texture from the pickle itself, and the crunch.” I found them scary tasty, especially with a side of spicy mayo.

Faced with a serious pork dilemma — which to try, Whole Hog BBQ or Pig Beach BBQ?--I opted for the latter, as it too is making its Citi Field debut. The expanding Brooklyn-based chain’s founders met in 2014 at a Memphis barbecue competition popularly known as the Super Bowl of Swine, and we had some messy fun with their sidewinder fries topped with pulled pork and a fine vinegary sauce.

Elsewhere, I discovered that pizza cupcakes taste better than they sound, and that while some like their jumbo pretzels with marinara sauce, others prefer cinnamon sugar, and a few oddballs actually mix the two. I enjoyed too a cup containing a meatball slathered with truffle cream from Queens’ own Cento Percento, although immediately regretted washing it down with a Shake Shack Triple Play Shake, an amalgamation of three kinds of cookies, two kinds of custard and one generous spray of sprinkles. “So much for peanuts and Cracker Jacks, right?” said a woman, noticing my distress and pegging me as one of those get-off-my-lawn oldsters.

I informed her that recently I’d eaten a box of Cracker Jack for the first time since who-knows-when, even though I knew exactly when — 2016, the year they stopped putting prizes inside (no, a QR code for downloading a baseball video game is not the same). Having decided that a world without water transfer tattoos, mini joke books and secret decoder rings is a seriously depleted one, I’d boycotted them ever since. Laugh if you want, but when America faces a shortage of encryption experts in the years ahead, don’t be surprised.

Anyway, they’d tasted worse than I remembered, I told her, even by lax caramel corn standards. Like packing peanuts flogged with pancake syrup. Whatever the culinary excesses of the current era, I would not go back for the world.

Prices were not available at press time. The New York Mets are scheduled to play 79 home games at Citi Field this season, from Apr. 15 to Oct. 5, details at mlb.com/mets.