Finding a family compound

The holidays are approaching. Everyone's coming. The kids, grandkids, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles. Where to put them?

Extended families often have trouble getting together in a setting where they can visit yet maintain enough privacy to not get on each other's nerves. Finding a capacious gathering spot -- a family estate, retreat, whatever you call it -- is still possible on Long Island. But such places don't come on the market every day.

"They are fleeting," says Todd Romano, an agent with Hampton Estates Realty who is selling a two-acre domain with two homes and a garage in Quogue. "There are not many left, so finding one now at a decent price is an upside."

Multiple homes on one property in more populated Nassau County is, indeed, a rarity. Chances are better at finding a family gathering place in Suffolk County, which has more available land. But there are competing factors there, too.

"You can find things like this once in a while -- if a vineyard doesn't buy it first," says Barbara Molinari-Meyer with The Corcoran Group.

The Jamesport property she is selling has three separate structures that can accommodate kinfolk or out-of-town friends.

"You put your guests out there and don't have to tend to them so much," she says. "Or, if you have older children, you could put them and their kids there."

Most of the properties here were "grandfathered in" -- that is, built before present-day zoning requirements were enacted. So, the living/rental arrangements are legal as long as the property is maintained with the same usage, says Mitchell Pally, chief executive of the Long Island Builders Institute, an association of building industry professionals. Anyone hoping to create a new family gathering spot should check local zoning laws, since they vary among municipalities, he says.

Often, people in or approaching retirement years are the ones looking for situations like this, says Rand Soellner, a North Carolina architect who builds multi-home properties throughout the United States.

"A lot of what drives them is that there is no family-owned single place that can accommodate everybody in the clan," he says. "They want a place to start new remembrances and stay in touch with each other."

Sounds great. Or, not.

"You don't want people to get too comfortable," says Barbara Molinari-Meyer. "Your mother-in-law might want to live there."