B. Smith's husband has a girlfriend as his wife battles Alzheimer's

Alex Lerner, left, and B. Smith share a moment with husband Dan Gasby behind them in East Hampton. Credit: Karsten Moran for The Washington Post via Getty Images
The husband of former model, restaurateur and lifestyle maven B. Smith, who disclosed in December that he had begun a relationship with another woman while continuing to care for his Alzheimer's-stricken wife, has given details about the unusual arrangement.
"If 'This is Us,' and 'Modern Family' came together, it would be us," former TV executive Dan Gasby, 64, said in a profile Monday of the trio in The Washington Post. The feature describes Gasby's care for his wife of 26 years, the otherwise healthy and upbeat Smith's disjointed speech and thought patterns, and the friendship the East Hampton couple share with Gasby's girlfriend Alex Lerner, 53. A divorced mother of three who lives in Manhattan, Lerner has a room in the house for when she stays there, the article said.
"If I can be compassionate to her," Lerner told the paper of Smith, 69, "if I can do anything for her, it makes me feel good. If it is giving her something to drink, or making her something to eat — she loves to eat — I feel good." In an Instagram video Gasby posted Jan. 20, a smiling Smith walks past Lerner and strokes her arm in friendly affection. A beaming Lerner returns the gesture.
Lerner, a hostess at the Hamptons outpost of Manhattan's upscale French restaurant Le Bilboquet, met Gasby in the summer of 2017 at a bar where he was speaking with a friend. They eventually met for coffee. "We were friends," Lerner said. "I didn't want to go out with a married man."
She knew Smith from attending charity events, and ultimately accepted Gasby's invitation to have breakfast with them. She realized, she said, watching the couple's interaction, "This is not a man cheating on his wife."
Dana Gasby, 32, Dan Gasby's daughter from a previous marriage, approves of her father's relationship with Lerner. "When he told me," she told the newspaper, "I was like, 'Thank God. I'm happy.' "
The uncommon arrangement has generated much criticism from social-media commenters, as well as understanding from others with experience caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease.
"[T]o the idiots and ignorant people calling for my arrest and saying B is or has ever been abused," Dan Gasby responded on Monday on Facebook, "I only wish someone in your immediate family has Alzheimer's so you can . . . know first hand what it's like to care 24/7/365 for someone who can no longer care for themselves! . . . I love my wife but I can't let her take away my life!"
Gasby had revealed his relationship with Lerner — with whom he hosts a WABC-AM radio show about Alzheimer's caregiving — in a December Facebook post, where he called her "my life partner." He added of his wife, "I've been with B 27 years! Love her and will to her or my dying breath take care of her! But I realized you can't love the past you gotta maximize the now!"
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