Snooki pregnant, according to reports, so what happens to 'Jersey Shore' star?
Pint-size "Jersey Shore" star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is three months' pregnant with boyfriend Jionni LaValle's child, E! News reported Wednesday.
So let's all try to be adults here, and move past the snark, jokes, horror and tab headlines about "Jersey Spore," so we can get down to what Snooki's pregnancy really impacts: MTV.
There's an empire at stake here, people. Have some pity, or a little anyway.
The facts are sobering or -- depending on your point of view -- almost too good to be true. Without Snooki there is no sixth season of "Jersey Shore," and if there is, would the style of the house be cramped by the presence of a nursing mother? Without Snooki, there is no spinoff in Jersey City with Jenni "JWoww" Farley. Or, assuming the spinoff does proceed, a show about JWoww out clubbing while Snooki stays home stuffing her face with pickles may be your idea of fun -- but not mine.
Scripted TV knows well how to hide "the bump," and often has done so, going all the way back to the days of "I Love Lucy." But reality TV doesn't have a clue how to handle this, or at least reality TV of the sort that depends almost entirely on the drunken, licentious behavior of its stars.
No airdate has been set for the spinoff and we'll see if one ever is. Although an MTV spokesman said Wednesday, "Nicole and Jenni began filming last week and moved into their new digs with animal print furniture in tow. Things are going great thus far."
Uh huh.
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