Chewing over a tough tidbit: 'The Chew'

There are about 60 cooking shows on TV, not to mention two networks devoted to the culinary arts 24 hours a day. So what, then, was ABC thinking?

Replace a 41-year-old soap that had an intensely loyal audience with yet another cooking show that Monday demonstrated no apparent draw to attract a new audience -- much less a loyal one?

And it's produced by Gordon Elliott, the guy who used to bash on people's doors at 7 a.m. for "Good Day New York" because at Channel 5 that was someone's idea of morning fun? (He's heard here in voice-over.)

The statute of limitations may protect Elliott for offenses performed years ago, but not for the one Monday: "The Chew" is a chump. Its first day was a noisy, and desperate-to-please trifle, full of forced bonhomie and hollow mirth. Chalk that up to first-day jitters, perhaps, but substance -- not tone -- appears to be the larger problem.

"The Chew" doesn't seem to know what it is or wants to be. "This show is about food, family, fun," explains one of the hosts, Clinton Kelly. So noted. But ABC's new daytime talk/family/fun/cooking series doesn't have merely a split personality, but five personalities (Michael Symon, of Food Network's "Iron Chef"; Carla Hall, a former contestant on Bravo's "Top Chef"; Kelly, co-host of TLC's "What Not to Wear"; Daphne Oz, an author and daughter of television Dr. Mehmet Oz; and celeb chef Mario Batali, the "name" of the group). Individually, they have specific tastes, skills and (doubtless) talents. Individually, perhaps, any of them could (and already have in a couple of instances) host his or her own show.

Put them all together and you get . . . indigestion.