Howard Stern returns to SiriusXM, after first pranking listeners that he was gone
After his Sept. 2 fake-out, shock jock Howard Stern returned to SiriusXM on Monday following a two-month summer vacation -- but not without first pulling a prank.
When listeners tuned in at 7 a.m., they heard the voice of Bravo TV host/radio personality Andy Cohen, 57, who said: "Well, good morning, everybody. I know this is not the voice you expected to hear and this is not the voice you wanted to hear but it is I ... Andy Cohen! This is our first day broadcasting on channel 100, 'Andy 100,' as it is being referred to around Sirius for the last few days. I know that you are expecting a big announcement from Howard. This is not how things were meant to go. There’s been a lot of talk about what’s going to happen with Howard’s deal. Is he fired? I don’t know how much I’m allowed to say except that he’s not here and I am."
Once Cohen went to a break, promos started running about Stern’s firing. Suddenly, Stern appeared, saying: "Lest you think that was real. That was masterminded by me."
Illness delayed return
The King of All Media apologized to his audience about the delayed restart of his program, "The Howard Stern Show," noting he has been sick.
"Everything you’ve been reading in the paper is completely false," Stern, 71, said. "I was ready to come on, but I got so sick. I thought I had COVID. But it’s the cold that won’t go away. I have a pingpong ball in my throat but I’m going to try and push through."
Stern said he became sick after attending a Maren Morris charity concert at Stephen Talkhouse in Amagansett on Aug. 25.
"I went out, saw people and they breathed on me. I need to wear a mask but I’m too embarrassed," Stern said. "People come up and want to say hello to me. Being among humanity is so vile. People are organisms that will get you sick."
Stern said things got out of control this summer when someone called TMZ reporting his co-host, Robin Quivers, was dead. TMZ called Quivers’ brother for a comment. The brother then called his sister’s friends. Even Quivers' Wikipedia page was changed and The New York Times reached out, looking for comment.
"Me not answering the phone would not mean I’m dead," Quivers, 73, said.
Stern added, "She’s like the queen of England. There’s no direct contact."
'Robin, please go into hiding'
Finally Stern got through to Quivers and told her, "Robin, please go into hiding. We’ve got to make sure people think you are dead before we get back. This will be the greatest first show back. This could be a gold mine for us."
During his vacation, Stern, who grew up in Roosevelt and Rockville Centre and now lives in Southampton, was the subject in the press and social media of an unconfirmed rumor that his program was too woke and was going to be canceled after his contract expires at the end of the year. Much of this stemmed from a story The U.S. Sun published on Aug. 5., which cited an "unnamed insider source" who said, "Sirius and Stern are never going to meet on the money he is going to want. It’s no longer worth the investment."
Then Fox News TV host Greg Gutfeld announced the unconfirmed rumor that Stern’s listenership dropped from 20 million to 125,000 on his program, "Gutfeld!"
The U.S. Sun also reported that Alex Cooper, host of the "Call Her Daddy" podcast and head of the Unwell Audio Network, was quickly becoming SiriusXM’s new top star and this bothered Stern.
'Why would I be fired?'
During Monday’s show, Stern addressed the rumors about him being fired for being too woke, but nothing about financials or subscriber numbers dropping.
"Why would I be fired?" Stern said. "Sirius employs a lot of woke people and a lot of right wingers too. There’s zero truth to any of this. I was thinking about retiring but now I can’t because then they will say I got pushed out. I’ll be back."
Stern leaned into the rumors and asked his staff to start running promos about his supposed firing. "Let’s go with it!" he declared.
Regarding his SiriusXM renewal deal, Stern simply said: "Here’s the truth ... SiriusXM and my team have been talking about how we go forward in the future. They’ve approached me and they sat down with me like we normally do and they are fantastic. [Chief executive] Jennifer Witz and [president] Scott Greenstein and all of them say, ‘Howard, would you stay? Under what conditions would you want to stay? How often do you want to do a show?’ They’ve been nothing but lovely. We’ve been talking. I’m absolutely flattered that anybody even cares that I re-sign. In a way, it was confirmation that I matter."
One positive that came out of the rumors was that Stern received other offers.
"I heard from a lot of companies who want the show. I thought that’s really nice," Stern said. "But I’m very happy at Sirius."
Reason behind prank
Addressing the rumor about his supposed issue with Cooper, Stern said, "Let me tell you how I feel about Alex Cooper and any person who works on these channels, God bless them. If they can bring in a subscriber, they can only be good for me ... I can’t be the only guy people pay for ... as far as Alex Cooper, I want her to be super successful because it only improves my situation that means there’s more people subscribing."
Stern said his reason for pulling the prank with Cohen was to make a statement about today’s news. Many outlets, including The Associated Press, initially reported Stern was leaving SiriusXM. The show then played morning reports of Cohen taking over his program and how Stern’s reign was over.
"There’s no such thing as journalism anymore," Stern said. "Even in this absurdity of us putting Andy on and everything was to make the bigger point that journalism is at risk."
Stern warned fans about him returning for Tuesday's show.
"I might disappear again if I go to the doctor and find out I’m real sick, which I am," he said. "At my age this could be it. You don’t know."
David J. Criblez is a reporter for Newsday's exploreLI, covering entertainment-related events from local music to stand-up comedy to festivals.
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