Our critic's dream list of Oscar nominees

Here's the smart way to predict Tuesday's Oscar nominations: First, skim the trade magazines to see which studios are campaigning for which movies. Next, tally up the nominations from the prestigious actors, writers and directors guilds. Finally, compare those against the recent Golden Globe winners and you'll have a good idea of this year's Oscar contenders.

Or, you could just make it all up.

The latter approach seems as good as any in what's shaping up as a wide-open Oscar race. Last Sunday, the Golden Globes were handed out so willy-nilly that few movies emerged as obvious Oscar front-runners. All those guild nominations didn't help "Bridesmaids" win a single Globe; Martin Scorsese's win for "Hugo" seemed like a hiccup; and the biggest winner, "The Artist," still took home only three Golden Globes -- far from a landslide.

So I'm tossing aside the analytical approach this year and making my Oscar predictions based on something else: merit. That's a highly subjective notion, but surely my judgment is as sound as anyone's. At least I didn't give Michelle Williams the Golden Globe for best comedic actress, for playing a tormented Marilyn Monroe in "My Week With Marilyn."

I would, however, give the best actor Oscar to a chimpanzee -- or rather, to Andy Serkis, who played a computer-generated one in "Rise of the Planet of the Apes." Serkis, long regarded as motion-capture's leading thespian, never got a nod for his groundbreaking Gollum in the "Lord of the Rings" films and probably won't get one for Caesar, a simian with a human intellect (and a very human soul). George Clooney will likely get the acting Oscar for "The Descendants," but for my money, Serkis delivered the year's most vivid and imaginative lead performance.

Many of my picks are equally unlikely to come to fruition. I'd like to see Bryce Dallas Howard, who was ignored by the Globes, earn a supporting actress nod for playing the deliciously evil Hilly Holbrook in "The Help" (I'd also like to see her win). Michael Fassbender also should be nominated, not for his tortured sex addict in "Shame," but for his vulnerable supervillain in "X-Men: First Class." And although few people are talking about director Tomas Alfredson, he deserves a mention for his sublimely stylish version of "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy."

One category where the academy and I are likely to agree is best original screenplay, and for this reason: There nearly aren't any. This was the year of the adaptation, from "The Help" (based on a novel) to "The Ides of March" (a play) to "War Horse" (a novel and a play). That leaves few original scripts to choose from -- most notably Diablo Cody's "Young Adult" and Woody Allen's "Midnight in Paris" -- and the academy will probably end up with much the same list I have.

But enough reality. Here are my fantasy picks for Oscar nominations, along with the eventual winner I'd like to see in each category. The real nominees will be announced Tuesday morning, but until then, I'll keep dreaming.

BEST ANIMATED FILM

"The Adventures of Tintin"

"Cars 2"

"Gnomeo and Juliet"

"Rango"

"Winnie the Pooh"

DREAM PICK "Rango." Not for all tastes, but this surreal, acid-soaked Western was one of the best and weirdest surprises of 2011.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

"50/50"

"Bridesmaids"

"Midnight in Paris"

"Sleeping Beauty"

"Young Adult"

DREAM PICK "Young Adult." Cody ("Juno") tells the story of a bedraggled former prom queen in one of the funniest, saddest and most brutally honest movies in years.

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Kenneth Branagh, "My Week With Marilyn"

Michael Fassbender, "X-Men: First Class"

Armie Hammer, "J. Edgar"

Jonah Hill, "Moneyball"

Patton Oswalt, "Young Adult"

DREAM PICK Oswalt. Like Hill, he's a comedian in a serious role, but he strips himself bare both emotionally and physically as a damaged man still stinging from past wounds.

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Bérénice Bejo, "The Artist"

Bryce Dallas Howard, "The Help"

Janet McTeer, "Albert Nobbs"

Octavia Spencer, "The Help"

Mia Wasikowska, "Albert Nobbs"

DREAM PICK Howard, playing one of the most awesomely detestable villains in years -- and one of the most human. The movie would have been good without her, but she makes it great.

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

George Clooney, "The Descendants"

Jean Dujardin, "The Artist"

Joel Edgerton, "Warrior"

Brad Pitt, "Moneyball"

Andy Serkis, "Rise of the Planet of the Apes"

DREAM PICK Serkis. He's a human playing an animal through the medium of motion-capture -- an astonishing transformation and a tremendous feat of acting.

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Glenn Close, "Albert Nobbs"

Elizabeth Olsen, "Martha Marcy May Marlene"

Meryl Streep, "The Iron Lady"

Charlize Theron, "Young Adult"

Kristen Wiig, "Bridesmaids"

DREAM PICK Theron, whose performance as a woman emotionally stuck in high school is poignant, harrowing, pathetic and -- despite it all -- hilarious.

BEST DIRECTOR

Tomas Alfredson, "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy"

Woody Allen, "Midnight in Paris"

Michel Hazanavicius, "The Artist"

Julia Leigh, "Sleeping Beauty"

Lars von Trier, "Melancholia"

DREAM PICK Hazanavicius, who may very well win the Oscar for his loving, dazzling tribute to the lost art of silent film.

BEST PICTURE

"The Artist"

"The Help"

"Midnight in Paris"

"Rise of the Planet of the Apes"

"Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy"

DREAM PICK "The Artist." The other films may be bigger and more polished, but charm, sincerity and a pure heart will win every time. In my dreams, at least.