'Cha Cha Real Smooth' review: Much too precious

WHAT IT'S ABOUT "Cha Cha Real Smooth" tells the story of Andrew (Cooper Raiff), 22, fresh out of Tulane University and suffering through that familiar motion picture phenomenon of post-graduation ennui.

His girlfriend has gone to Spain on a Fulbright, while he's back home in New Jersey, sharing a room with his 13-year-old brother and trying to figure out what to do with his life beyond working at a mall hot dog establishment.

The first inklings of a purpose begin to emerge when he brings brother David (Evan Assante) to a bat mitzvah and does such a good job of encouraging everyone to dance that the moms present come to a unanimous agreement: Andrew is a party starter to be desired.

Our hero signs up for this essential duty not just because he loves to "slide to the left, slide to the right" and "crisscross" as the title of the movie might suggest (anyone who has been to a bar or bat mitzvah knows all about this).

No, he's most interested in this new gig because it allows him to spend more time with one class mom in particular: Domino (Dakota Johnson), as well as her daughter Lola (Vanessa Burghardt).

"Cha Cha Real Smooth" is also written and directed by Raiff (it's the second movie he's made; the title of the first is not printable here). Other co-stars include Leslie Mann, Brad Garrett and Odeya Rush. The movie is streaming on Apple TV+ and playing in limited theatrical release.

MY SAY There's something about New Jersey that seems to make it a desired setting for exactly this sort of movie.

Far be it for a Long Island-based film critic to speculate on why that is, as no one wants to start any rivalries.

But there's no getting around the fact that "Cha Cha Real Smooth" arrives some 18 years after Zach Braff already told this same essential story with "Garden State," a portrait of 20-something malaise set to an indie pop soundtrack that has become a classic for a certain generation of moviegoers.

Things could have been different with "Cha Cha Real Smooth." There's lots of potential in a satirical look at the bar and bat mitzvah circuit. The material is practically endless.

But despite the promise, that's not at all what Raiff is doing here.

He's trying to make a serious picture about people joined by a shared sense of isolation and a striving toward an ideal of happiness that might never be attainable.

That's a worthy purpose.

But it's all carefully calibrated to hit what can only be described as familiar Sundance Film Festival marks, so it's no surprise that it premiered there.

From the awkward flirtations with Domino and too-cute scenes of bonding with Lola to the tear-streaked emotional moments and the quirky depiction of Andrew's life as a hype man, "Cha Cha Real Smooth" is so precious that there's almost no actual life in it.

BOTTOM LINE The world needs a comedy about bar mitzvahs. This is not it.