'Nothing Personal': True crime's the game

Steve Schirripa played Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri, the amiable bodyguard, on "The Sopranos," so he knows from lowlife losers and would-be hit men. The big Brooklyn native serves as producer of this reality re-enactment of murders for hire. But more important, he's the narrator, where his likable persona fortifies lines like "They were not exactly A-listers. More like D-generates." That's in next week's representative hour about half-wit hit jobs on the seedy side of Hollywood.

Tomorrow's premiere episode treads more predictable premiere territory in mob land. Flashy young wannabe Larry "Champagne" Carrozza overreaches in New York's Colombo crime family, which can only mean one thing: Champagne's gonna get popped.

That tale at least has testimony from the guy who pulled the trigger, "Big Sal" Miciotta. Next week's Hollywood melodrama does it in more typical TV true crime style, piecing together the timeline on a movie production crewman's murder by talking to his wife's bar-lizard buds who engineered the deed, plus the prosecutor and detectives. There are former girlfriends and pals, too, labeled in oddly ominous/amusing graphics like "Friend of Bob."

Over their recollections unreel re-enactments in the typical technique - dark, smeary visuals supposed to look arty while masking low-budget filming and "look-alike" actors who often don't.

MY SAY As the tale's depicted participants aren't heard, it's up to Schirripa to supply enough oomph to keep us awake, and he's adept at that. With his guy-next-door appeal, and a dash of world weariness, he sells narration that should be corny or even cringeworthy.

Next week's Hollywood crime scene is overstuffed with showbiz puns and allusions. It's only confusing when Schirripa speaks from the time frame of the 1988 murder about the soon-to-be crew victim: "Too bad that 'Spider-Man' movie is stuck in development. If he was workin' on that one, he might know what his Spidey senses are pickin' up."

BOTTOM LINE Schirripa's a pleasing presence. But you've seen this stuff before.

GRADE B-