'Total Blackout' is out of sight

We meet the players, cocky and boasting beforehand; watch them squirm and squeal (in blackout-lensed blue-and-white), making wrongheaded guesses as to the objects' identities while the disembodied voice of host Jaleel White coaches and quips; then afterward hear their reactions. The sorta-kicker is, the least accurate guesser gets dropped down a trapdoor "black hole," while the others continue on to rounds 2 (another trapdoor) and 3 (two finalists).

Their imaginations get the best of most contestants, so we get to see girls swear up a (bleeped) storm, tough guys whimper and gay guys act, well, cliche gay. But what would you do, blind and sticking your hand into a tank of roaches or eels? Or forced in the dark to locate and eat blue cheese off a hairy human belly? Would you recognize the scent of smelly armpit?

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The couples are cool, too, in coaching each other through the fright and identifications. And to its credit, "Total Blackout" makes one of TV's most diverse casting efforts, bringing in all races, origins and sexual orientations (but did the gays have to be sooo gay?). Even the youthful demographic gets a shake-up when one guy pairs with his 60ish French mom.

So -- yes, I'm ashamed of myself. But a girl's gotta slum sometime. Better ogling the oddities of this behavior than "Maury."