What 'Jersey Shore' crew could have learned if it had a TV
Season one of MTV's Jersey Shore" included Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, top left, Paul "DJ Pauly D" Delvecchio, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Angelina Pivarnick, Jenni "JWOWW" Farley, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola and Vinny Guadagnino. Credit: MTV
What did we learn from the second season of "Jersey Shore" - which wraps tonight (at 10 on MTV)?
In no particular order:
1. Snooki can write.
She wrote the infamous Letter, and also wrote on a cocktail napkin a detailed checklist of the perfect gorilla/juicehead. This will help her with her novel. (Yes, she got a book deal.)
2. The Italian thing?
That's sooo season one. Go ahead - find me one use of the word "guido." Under pressure, MTV has scrubbed clean the ethnic angle.
3. This group GETS BORED EASILY.
As this season drags to a close, they seem at times almost catatonic. They basically triangulate among the beach, the Metropole and Tantra (the club of choice). This got old real fast.
4. MTV continues to stiff them on having a TV set in the house.
What's with that? Afraid they're going to watch Fuse?
5. South Beach is not the shore.
But it is more colorful.
6. "Jersey Shore" started to feel a bit like "Big Brother."
Everyone waited for Angelina to get the hook. Finally, she left. Cheers could be heard across the nation.
7. The ladies of the house have volcanic tempers.
Snooki's great hair-pull assault on Angelina is one instance; every one of them has displayed an ability to loosen teeth, draw blood.
8. No more intramural love affairs.
Please. The on-again, off-again between Ronnie and Sammi was interminable, a drag of monstrous proportions.
9. Hope for better - make that real - drama in the third season.
I mean, come on! The middle of the season was jammed up with the urgent question of who wrote The Letter? (This anonymous note told Sammi that Ron was cheating on her.)
10. "Jersey Shore" really is unmitigated trash TV.
Often entertaining, OK, but still (to paraphrase Ronnie's opinion of Angelina), the Staten Island dump of the tube. If you thought you might discern some nugget of redeeming value here, you were quickly disabused. This season was dedicated to much drinking, much cussing, much sleeping around. And yet 6 million - that's million - fans ate it up every week.
