Asking the clergy: What's the best way to teach children to pray?

Elaine Petry, director, Fine Arts Department at Perfecting Faith Church, Freeport:

When I was a child in the late 1950s, prayer was common in our Southern proverbial "village" consisting of home, school, church and public events. Like a relative rarely seen but lovingly and frequently talked about, in our home, we referred to God as a person who was part of and head of the family. He was accessible through prayer. Prayer began the day at the table and ended with our solo prayer of "Now I lay me down to sleep." We learned to pray by the example set by our parents and those in authority. Recently, I approached the children in our Saturday Theatrical Workshop. All of the children knew how to pray, but none of them remembered how they learned. They prayed with parents in church, home or even through catastrophic events. The answer is ageless. The best way to teach children to pray still is by example.

The Rev. Keith I. Harris, Jackson Memorial AME Zion, Hempstead:

By example, first of all. You get them to understand that prayer is a conversation with God. You involve them in that conversation. With children, you have to be consistent. They need to see you praying at home as well as at church, publicly and privately. As a parent, if you're not comfortable or don't have knowledge of prayer yourself, you and your children can learn together. You just have to start somewhere. There's nothing wrong with asking someone to pray for you. If someone prays for you, you learn how they pray and ask them if they could pray with you next time. Can you pray anywhere at anytime? Yes, if God sees everything and he hears everything, there's no hiding place from him. My mother's most powerful prayer came when she was in the bathroom. As a child, I remember hearing her through the walls of the bathroom. And, it was the most powerful prayer I'd ever heard. When you get to the point that you learn how to pray, pray without ceasing.

Rabbi Marvin Demant, Oyster Bay Jewish Center:

Before you teach children to pray, they must be taught the concept of praying so they will have a basic understanding of what prayer is. Praying is not only something to do when they want something from God, but a way of saying thank you and showing appreciation for what they already have. In our synagogue, parents set a wonderful example for their children by encouraging them to attend our religious school, taking an active interest in their education and bringing them to services. Early on, the children learn how to pray in Hebrew school and are taught to keep the sanctity of the service by dressing appropriately for temple. It is with that seriousness that they eagerly participate in our services, often assisting me in leading the congregation in prayer and most importantly, feeling comfortable in the sanctuary. The enthusiasm of our children when they understand the concept of prayer is contagious, especially with the congregation and, of course, with their parents, who become even more enthused after watching their children with such pride. Working closely with our principal, the parents and the teachers we are able to reach the children and enable them to develop a good feeling and understanding of what praying is all about.

The Rev. Joseph Costa,

Blessed Hope Baptist Church, Coram:

If we follow our Lord's explanation, the best way is the simplest way . . . honestly, just like a child would pray. It isn't the formality of the prayer that God is interested in but rather the sincerity of it. Many times, unfortunately, religious educators discourage children from prayer just like the disciples rebuked those who brought the young children to Jesus in Mark's gospel chapter 14. The disciples believed that Jesus didn't want to take the time to hear the prayers of children. To which Jesus responded, "Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for such is the kingdom of God," (Mark 10:14). In other words, don't worry about the children. The children are innocent, and, therefore their prayers are not hindered with such things as manipulation and avarice. Let us learn from the children's example, as explained by Jesus, to simply pray honestly and without hidden motives. That's how children - and adults - should pray.