'Bad girl' needs to change, no kidding

DEAR AMY: I don't mean to lead guys on -- it just happens! A friend thinks I'm in love with him. I was nice to him and listened to his issues. I may have talked a little sexy, but I never meant it. Now I can't turn on my computer without seeing a message from him. He even calls me and wants to meet me every time he's in my area (OK, we have met up before). He has put down his wife to me, and I have gotten to know her and I know this is not fair to her. I love my husband. My friend is not the guy I want to have an affair with (now if he buys me a new house and new car, maybe -- just kidding). I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I do want him to back off. I'm a bad girl, I guess, so maybe in a way I am cheating, but am I supposed to change?Dumbfounded

DEAR DUMBFOUNDED: "Just kidding" is no joke when you are deliberately toying with someone. If you want things to change, you have to change.

Make a choice to start behaving like a grown-up in a marriage and to start seeing the effect your actions have on other people (this man's wife and your husband, for instance). You can do this only if you stop thinking you are so darned adorable.

DEAR AMY: An employee in our office is pumping breast milk. She leaves all the equipment and milk on top of her desk for all to see. There have been complaints from clients and employees alike, but she contends that "it's natural" and says that everyone should just "get over it." We have tried closing her door, but she always opens it. Don't say "tell your supervisor," because that's a whole other ball of wax.Got Milk? Unfortunately, Yes!

DEAR GOT MILK: Unless your colleague is exposing her breasts at a public staff meeting, you respond to her by closing your own door. She may be enjoying how riled up you all are. So yes, follow her advice and "get over it."