How to talk to your kids about 9/11
The John J. Harvey was a fireboat that was pressed into service on Sept. 11, 2001. There is a children's book about the adventures of the fireboat and it will also be at the Oyster Festival in Oyster Bay on Oct 15-16, 2011. Credit: Handout
With the anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks just around the corner, many parents are thinking about ways to explain the horrific events to their children. Although many were too young to remember or understand the circumstances of the attacks, others weren't even born when they occurred. But with exposure to the Internet, television, radio and adult conversations, children will likely need help managing anxiety associated with the terror attacks. Whether they remember or not, most kids are sure to have questions and concerns. As a parent, it's important to be prepared, so we went to the experts for tips to help you help your children understand 9/11.
Many tweens and teens bottle up their emotions and may be reluctant to approach you directly and ask you questions about 9/11. "Adolescents may listen better if you say you are available to talk to them, but don't tell them they 'have' to talk with you and don't assume they will," said Phyllis S. Ohr, director of the child and parent psychological services clinic at Hofstra University's Saltzman Community Services Center. If your adolescent does come talk to you, listen carefully and normalize their feelings and thoughts. Many young adults will experience a variety of intense emotions and thoughts (angry, sad, scared), and that's completely normal, Ohr said. "Try not to put words in their mouths," she said. "Reflect on what they are feeling and be warm and supportive, not judgmental." You can also ask them what they remember about the day and then answer their questions directly.
At an extreme, if you notice your tween or teen is very anxious and especially if it interferes with normal activities such as socializing, schoolwork and daily routines, then make sure they do talk to a professional. "Adolescents may not necessarily use words to express how distressed they are, so parents need to monitor behavioral signs of distress," Ohr said.
Lastly, if you have a hard time talking about 9/11 with your kids, you can always read a book together. Check out some books that are written specifically for children about 9/11.
