Latina moms group finds camaraderie and support in Sunday cooking
Marilyn Ordoñez, of Valley Stream, makes sofrito with her daughters, Alessia Surdich, 13, and Avriana Surdich, 10, during a meeting of the group in Valley Stream. Credit: Alessia Surdich
When 15 mothers gathered at Marilyn Ordoñez’s home in Valley Stream recently, they picked questions from a Café Bustelo coffee can to get the conversation flowing. Ordoñez’s selection: “How do you identify with your Latinidad on Long Island?”
One way Ordoñez does that is by participating in Sofrito Sunday, an activity offered by Latina Moms Connect to bring together women raising bicultural children for an afternoon of camaraderie and preparing of the traditional Spanish base for cooking, for which the event is named.
Mariana Pineda, 43, and her son, Max, 6, of West Babylon, prepare sofrito during a gathering of Latina moms of bicultural children in Valley Stream. Credit: Alessia Surdich
Each woman brings an ingredient — olive oil, onions, garlic, cilantro, recao, or one of a variety of peppers. They toss them in a blender, and at the end of the meeting, each woman brings sofrito home to later sautee and add to dishes from rice to beans to meats. The making of the sofrito is a fitting metaphor for the primary purpose of the group — to talk about how they introduce Latino traditions to the children in their culturally blended families to ensure they pass them on to the next generation.
“It opened up some really healthy dialogue,” Ordoñez says of the gathering. “For me, I’m definitely always looking for other mothers I can connect with.” Ordoñez’s parents immigrated from Ecuador; Ordoñez, 40, a consultant in construction, was born in the United States and her partner, Sean Surdich, is Irish and Italian. They have two children, Alessia, 13, and Avriana, 10.
A ‘bonding experience’
Sofrito Sundays have been occurring multiple times each year since 2014, says Dorothy Santana, 52, of North Babylon, a mother of four and the founder and president of Latina Moms Connect, a nonprofit organization that connects families raising bicultural Latino children on Long Island.
“They are small-group, facilitated discussions in members’ homes, where we come together and create a space to talk about raising a bicultural Latino child. It’s been an incredible bonding experience,” Santana says. Women often bring their children with them, she says. And the group facilitator might bring the Café Bustelo coffee can filled with questions — Café Bustelo is a popular Latin flavor inspired coffee.m
Marilyn Ordoñez, of Valley Stream, blends the sofrito. Credit: Alessia Surdich
Sofrito Sundays are just one of the offerings of Latina Moms Connect. The organization, for instance, also runs Temas and Tapas — which translates to topics and appetizers — for men and women to address subjects such as gender roles, money and finance in Latino culture and more, Santana says. Charlas Entre Chicas — which translates to discussions among women — covers topics such as reproduction, sexuality and other themes.
Jennifer Lopez, 53, of Huntington, volunteered to host the next Sofrito Sunday on Jan. 22, after she attended one in Melville in November. The school administrator says she was drawn to that particular event because she remembers her parents — her father is from Cuba, her mother from Peru — making sofrito when she was a child. “I really wanted to share it with my daughter,” Lopez says; she brought Ella, 12.
“It was just a lot of conversation and fun,” Lopez says. “We talked a lot about what our culture means to us. It was so heartwarming … to be able to share with other mothers, strong Latina women trying to preserve their culture along with the American culture.” After the meeting, the women formed a chat group to continue their connection. “We send each other pictures of our cooking,” Lopez says.
‘Healthy dialogue’
Maria Raczka is an occupational therapist from Farmingdale who is Peruvian. “I am Hispanic, but my husband is not,” she says. “Nobody speaks Spanish at home but me.” Raczka says she wanted to introduce her younger daughter, Bay, 10, to more of the Peruvian culture so she won’t grow up confused about “am I this or am I that?”
“I want her to learn more about the culture and what being Hispanic means, even if she’s only half Hispanic,” she says. She brought Bay to the Sofrito Sunday at Ordoñez’s house so Bay could meet other children from bicultural families.
Esther Calberto, 42, an occupational therapist from Farmingdale, also attended that Sofrito Sunday. “It was like a breath of fresh air,” she says. “I miss socializing and that kind of warmth you get from your people, even if you don’t know each other. It was an inclusive feeling I haven’t felt in quite some time.”
Calberto, who is Puerto Rican, and her husband, Miller, 44, who is Colombian and also an occupational therapist, have two children, Hailey, 13, and Matthew, 9. Calberto says she has worked in the school systems and noticed that sometimes Latino kids may not embrace their heritage because of stereotypes and misrepresentations. She doesn’t want any child — especially her own children — to feel that way.
“There’s wonderful things about our culture, just like any other culture,” she says, citing dancing, music and foods. She enjoyed talking with the group about traditions — such as salsa dance and merengue music and, of course, sofrito — that they want to pass down to their children and how they are incorporating them in their Long Island lives.
Beth Whitehouse writes about families, parenting and great things to do with the kids on Long Island. She’s been a Newsday editor and shared a 1997 Newsday staff Pulitzer Prize for coverage of the crash of TWA Flight 800.
