Tips on making friends in college without drinking, partying
Study groups can lead to social opportunities. Credit: Dreamstime
Q. What do you suggest for a college freshman struggling to establish a weekend social life when so many parties revolve around drinking and she’s not interested in that?
A. The pat answer is “join clubs.” But that doesn’t solve the feeling of loneliness when it seems like everyone is out on Saturday night. Here are some further suggestions from David Arnold, director of alcohol abuse prevention for NASPA, a national organization for student affairs administrators in higher education, and Randy Haveson, author of “Party With a Plan.”
According to studies, one in every four students chooses not to drink, Haveson says. “There are a lot of people out there who are thinking exactly what she’s thinking,” he says.
- Suggest she form a study group with some people in her classes. She can say, “Hey, let’s study for this test together,” Arnold says. That breaks the ice socially on a different level. “That study experience turns into, ‘Let’s go to the mall. Let’s go to the movies.’ ”
- Along the same lines, have her join an academic sorority. “The more of these things she can layer, the more included she’ll feel on the college campus,” Arnold says.
- Have her watch for fliers advertising “alternative” campus events. “We don’t like to call them ‘alcohol free,’ because people who drink say, ‘Those words need to be reversed to “free alcohol” and people who don’t drink think ‘That’s clearly for someone who has an alcohol problem,’ ” Arnold says.
- Check into campus venues staying open for extended hours on a Saturday night. For instance, the school might have a climbing wall staying open until 11 p.m., Arnold says.
- While ‘‘Join a Club’’ is a pat answer, it does help. Many clubs have a group list-servs; if she is bold enough she could send out a message that says, “Is anyone else really tired of the drinking scene? I’d like to find other people to hang out with,” Haveson says.
Beth Whitehouse writes about families, parenting and great things to do with the kids on Long Island. She’s been a Newsday editor and shared a 1997 Newsday staff Pulitzer Prize for coverage of the crash of TWA Flight 800.
