When your teen comes out, support is crucial

Q. When a teen comes out to a parent as gay, lesbian or bisexual, isn't it possible it's just a phase?

A. This is a question Kristin Russo and Dannielle Owens-Reid, co-authors of the new book "This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids" (Chronicle, $18.95), often are asked. "There is no way to ever predict the future for any child," Russo says. It's quite possible it will remain consistent throughout the child's lifetime, she adds.

What's important to understand is that this is what is true for your child right now, and kids need you to react in a way that shows you love and accept them, regardless of sexual identity, Russo says.

When parents ask this, it indicates to Russo that they wish it weren't so, and that they might benefit from understanding more about the lifestyle in order to feel more comfortable with it. Parents often have imagined their child's life a certain way, and need to get used to what it might look like in a different light, Russo says.

At 1 p.m. Sunday, Russo, who grew up in West Islip and lives in Brooklyn, and Owens-Reid, who lives in Los Angeles, will be at Book Revue, 313 New York Ave., in Huntington, to talk about their book and expand on this question and others from parents. Both authors are lesbian and came out to their families as teenagers. They run an organization for teens called "Everyone Is Gay" and a website called TheParentsProject.com.