My Turn: It's never too late to say 'thank you' from the heart

It was December 2010 when my 80-year-old mother needed heart surgery. Her cardiologist said she needed to have two valves replaced and a bypass performed. Without the surgery, her life expectancy would be short.

Since Mom was not in the best of health — on blood thinners and her age was advanced — she was considered a high risk. Our first-choice hospital refused to take her because of this high risk. But our second-choice hospital had a surgeon who accepted her case. He assured my very nervous mom that she would be fine, and we were all somewhat relieved with his air of confidence.

My brother and I were not ready to say goodbye to our only living parent, and we entrusted our mom’s heart, as well as ours, to the hands of this surgeon.

Mom came through the five-hour surgery just as the surgeon had promised, and my brother and I and our families were eternally grateful. Our hearts were filled with love and gratitude. So much so, that by the following February, as Valentine’s Day approached, I thought it fitting to write a letter inside a Valentine card to thank the cardiac surgeon for giving us back our mom for however much longer she had.

It was a beautiful, heartfelt, thank-you letter — that never was sent. I’m not sure exactly why.

Nine years later, in January 2020, our mom lay dying in a hospital bed. It wasn’t from heart failure, however. Her kidneys had begun to fail. After 10 days, they totally shut down.

As we gathered around Mom’s bed, our eyes were fixated on the monitors, watching the blips and spikes go up and down.

We watched her breathing slow, meaning her lungs were shutting down, and then the heart monitor flatlined. It was her heart that was the last organ to stop. It had continued to beat strongly. It was as if her heart wanted to outlive her body.

Days after mom’s wake and service, I thought again of the cardiac surgeon, who had given us nine more years with our mom. Still filled with enormous gratitude, I had to tell him what an impact he made on our family. Despite my grief, I was compelled and determined to follow though to send him a letter to tell him "how it all turned out," like a "rest of the story" moment from the radio personality Paul Harvey.

Coincidentally, as Valentine’s Day approached again, I wrote a short letter telling him what happened to my mom and thanking him for the extra years he had given us. I also explained and sent to him my original "Thank You" letter and Valentine’s Day card, which, for some reason, I still had. Perhaps I had held onto it so I could recall my feelings of gratitude. This time the card and letter went into the mail.

Days later, I received a response in the mail from the surgeon, himself. It was he who thanked me for my heartfelt letter, which had moved him greatly.

Little did he realize that his response to me was unexpected and touched my heart as well. It proved to me that it is never too late to say "Thank You," a message that goes a long way to touch the soul. And … "That’s the rest of the story."

Terri Donahue,

Center Moriches