My Turn: The question that beats 'who's coming for dinner?'

Have you ever experienced being invited to a friend’s home for dinner and then wondering before you arrive what will be on the menu?

The dreaded: how do I handle the situation if I am served a meal that I would never choose to eat?

Now that we’re in the holiday communal meal season, it’s worth considering.

"What if they serve fish! I don’t like fish!"

"What if they serve beef? I don’t eat red meat!"

"Do they know I’m a vegan (or a vegetarian)?"

"Do they know I can’t tolerate spicy foods?"

When you’re served a meal that you wouldn’t cook, there aren’t many options on the table.

What would you do? Feign an upset stomach? Pick away at enough what’s on your plate not to make it too obvious that the food is not a choice that you would ordinarily eat? Or man-up, or woman-up, and politely explain, "Sorry, but I don’t eat fish (or pork or red meat).

At that point, it comes down to your personality. Are you a people pleaser or a straight shooter? How many times have you had to force-feed yourself food that is overcooked, undercooked, too spicy or genuinely tasteless?

Asking for ketchup or Peter Luger sauce might be your backup plan, but it signals that you are attempting to kill the taste and that you’re not a happy epicurean.

My wife and I encountered that very situation when we unknowingly served beautifully cooked salmon to dinner guests who happened to hate fish!

Post fish-gate, we have always made sure to ask our dinner guests — ahead of time — whether there is anything they do not eat.

And we’ve come up with some rules for hosting:

1) Don’t serve fish without inquiring first; for whatever reason I have found fish to be a risky choice. (Chicken usually seems to be a safe option.)

2) Know your guests’ preferences beforehand.

As the host or hostess, you can ask! As a guest, "What are you serving?" comes across as pretty aggressive.

I’ve been in the uncomfortable position of watching dinner guests playing with their food and moving it around their plates to make it look like they are actually enjoying it.

Next comes the perfunctory, "That was delicious," an obvious if well-meaning lie. But guests feel forced to say something.

At last, thankfully dessert is served. It is the savior of all unpleasant culinary cuisine. Manna for your abused palate.

So, who are you and what would you do?

Are you a people pleaser, who will suck it up like you’re eating bugs on "Survivor"?

Or are you the brave soul who would politely drop your knife and fork and say, "Sorry, but I’m not really very hungry."

Either way, I will leave you with a quote from Marie Antoinette. If all else fails … "Let Them Eat Cake!"

Joel Rauch,

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