Did you hear? Tom Brady retired.

Tom Brady, the football player.

If you missed the big news, you must be one of those people who wastes time doing crossword puzzles or knitting mittens for the grandkids or settling down of an evening with the latest copy of Scientific American.

Surely, you were not glued to ESPN or monitoring the latest updates on sports talk radio, or even reading the tabloids, back to front.

Priorities, people, priorities.

On Brady, I’ll be brief.

This is an unreasonably good-looking fellow — married to the beyond-gorgeous international supermodel Gisele Bündchen — who, over 22 seasons as a National Football League quarterback, won six Super Bowls with the New England Patriots and then, in his dotage, another as a Tampa Bay Buccaneer.

No wonder many refer to him simply as — get this — GOAT. Can you guess? Correct: Greatest of All Time.

After the season, word got out that Brady, 44, was going to quit. Then, no, it sounded like maybe he was thinking it over. Finally, the GOAT made it official: He was leaving the gridiron behind, sadly, of course, but with precious memories and love for his teammates and, really, it had been swell.

Next for the allegedly unparalleled Brady — who knows? But I wouldn’t worry.

He’s in ads, appears on TV shows, has a nutritional supplement and body fitness company called TB12, and recently cofounded the cryptocurrency firm "Autograph." I am not explaining cryptocurrency. If you can, please get in touch.

Look, I have nothing against the guy. Brilliant performer, Brady is entitled to fame, fortune and the buzzy coverage attending his decision to quit. For most of us, though, retirement occurs without coverage on CNN.

My own came years ago after a company buyout.

Buyouts are terrific, of course, but there is something humbling about the thought of your employer, suddenly generous, offering a serious pile of money to get you out the door.

Pride had never stopped me before, you understand, so I immediately made known I would clean out my desk — before dark if the boss insisted — and depart pronto in exchange for the advertised inducement. It didn’t happen quite that quickly, naturally, but, from the upper echelons, I encountered no resistance.

There was a goodbye dinner at an Indian restaurant thrown by co-workers, newspaper people in this case, which meant plenty of wisecracks and heckling and recollections of one inglorious moment or another.

Mostly, I escaped intact.

Nobody mentioned the time I wrote a story about veggie burgers and insisted they contained beef juice, not beet juice, or my misspelling of Edgar Allan Poe (two "l’s" in "Allan") or, most memorable, a piece that said rap star Eminem claimed in a song that he had stuffed the remains of his mother in a car trunk when the poor fellow merely had been referring to his wife. For each, a correction appeared in the morning editions.

It was summer on the night of the buyout party. I wore a cream-colored linen jacket and black shirt with overlay of white tropical flora and fauna — more sporty by far than my usual office attire, which might be described as Discount Casual. Gray button-downs that don’t exactly fit and slightly frayed expansion band Dockers.

In my flowered shirt you’d think I had plans to retire in Key West, but that wasn’t the case. I was, just for a night, going rogue and getting in touch with my inner Jimmy Buffett. Surprise.

"You see him?"

"Surf’s up."

My old Newsday pal, Dave Behrens, retired on the same evening. We both said a few words. Once a community playhouse actor, Dave knew how to work the crowd. I tried, but Dave stole the show.

People clapped and razzed us both and said they’d stay in touch, and, like that, the night was over.

Time has passed. Dave died not too long ago, great talent, brave soul. I’m still around.

Dumb luck, is all, but I’m grateful for every day.

Recently, there were rumors Tom Brady might surprise everyone and unretire — suit up again for next season

Not a chance with me. "You never say never," Brady insists.

Oh, yes, you do, Tom. You’ll find out. Yes, you do.