The Bristal's 'Golden Girls' prove you're never too old for new friends

When Marge Silvestri first moved into The Bristal Assisted Living at Jericho seven years ago, she spent her first night as the only resident. Today, she’s rarely by herself.

Silvestri’s days are spent buzzing from one activity to another, typically in the company of her best buddies, Roberta “Bobbi” Epstein, 90, and Maureen Sheerin, 87, both of whom she met at The Bristal. The trio has become inseparable since they quickly bonded over shared activities, life experiences and plenty of laughs.

“I was the first one in,” said Silvestri, 97, a retired banker and mother of three. “But I’ve never been alone since.”

Making the decision to move into an assisted living facility can be fraught for many individuals and their families, who may worry that the transition can be difficult. Another weighty concern: the cost. Monthly rates at The Bristal at Jericho for example, start at $6,000.

Still, assisted living facilities can offer some the opportunity to escape isolation, participate in lively activities and forge meaningful friendships which experts say contribute to their health and overall wellbeing.

At The Bristal at Jericho, Silvestri, Sheerin and Epstein are so dynamic, upbeat and joyful, they’ve earned the nickname “The Golden Girls,” after the beloved NBC sitcom that ran for seven seasons and starred Bea Arthur, Betty White and Rue McClanahan.

“We do everything — like the Energizer battery: We go, go, go,” said Silvestri.

‘This is where I belong’

Each woman brings a rich history to the friendship. Silvestri once earned “Banker of the Year” at Lincoln Savings Bank. Epstein worked at Publishers Clearing House. Sheerin, the newest of the group, held various jobs, including waitress, salesperson and administrative assistant.

Their shared connection has eased the transition to life at The Bristal, they said.

Before coming to the assisted living facility, Silvestri lived alone for 10 years after her husband died.

“I did have friends, but, still, I hated going home to an empty apartment,” said Silvestri, who has 18 grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren. 

Sheerin moved in just seven months ago as her children were getting ready to install a chairlift in her Jericho home.

“Everybody’s grown up now,” said Sheerin of her five children and 10 grandkids. “They’re all out doing their own thing, and my husband passed away eight years ago. We were married 60 years. I came here and from day one, I just felt this is where I belong. My children are ecstatic.”

Another first for Sheerin: She now has girlfriends.

“I’ve been very, very busy all my life, working, taking care of my family,” Sheerin said. “I go to bed at night now and I’m so relaxed. I just lay there and I say, ‘This is a very nice life.’ And I feel I earned it.”

The drive to thrive

Chris Calabro, lifestyle director at The Bristal at Jericho, sees firsthand how social engagement transforms lives for its 200 residents.

“This is a place where everybody comes together,” Calabro said. “They make new friendships. Here we’re doing exercise twice a day. We’re doing lectures. We’re doing music therapy, art programs, bingo, socials, welcome teas, afternoon movies, evening movies.”

As people age, many spend a lot of time alone, sitting at home, he noted.

“I also believe that when you’re busy and active, you’re going to have more drive and want to thrive,” he said.

The transformation can be dramatic.

“When Bobbi first moved in, believe it or not, she was very shy,” Calabro recalled. “She wouldn’t make eye contact with you. She was very serious. Then maybe a couple of months in, I was like, ‘Who is this woman? She is not the same person when she first came in.’ ”

Socialization is vital as we age, noted Jolene Knight, a psychiatric nurse practitioner at Stony Brook Medicine’s Center of Excellence for Alzheimer’s Disease.

“It fights off depression,” said Knight. “It reduces stress. It really helps their self-esteem. It really helps with the cognitive part. The more social they are, the higher their functioning.”

For people who live at home and don’t have easy access to a robust daily schedule, Knight recommends participating in activities at their community senior center or local library.

Staying socially engaged is critical for the health and wellbeing of all older adults, whether they live in the community or in a facility environment, Claudette Royal wrote in an email. Royal is the New York State Ombudsman for the Office of the State Long Term Care, which advocates for residents in long-term care facilities.

“Poor or insufficient connection to others puts an individual at greater risk for a wide range of chronic conditions,” Royal said. “Lack of social engagement has an adverse impact on mental health as well. This is why it is so important for long-term care facilities to foster social engagement activities and opportunities to meet both the health and social needs of residents. Allowing residents in long-term care facilities to provide input on the types of activities that are being offered is essential to promoting socialization and improving mental health for those living in these environments.”

Art, music and bingo

On any given day, the three Bristal friends can be found participating in activities offered — exercise classes, arts and crafts, bingo, choir and more. But their favorite gathering spot is The Bristal’s creative arts studio, where they paint twice a week and are preparing for an upcoming annual art show.

“This room is special to me,” Sheerin said. “I never knew I could even draw, and all of a sudden I’m drawing these pictures. I’m sending them to my kids: ‘Look what I’m doing!’ ”

For Silvestri, art became an emotional lifeline during the isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic.

“That’s what kept me sane,” she said.

Epstein adds her own flair, sometimes dancing to the music that the art teacher has playing in the background.

“She says, ‘Sit down,’ ” Epstein said. “I’m the dancing queen.”

They all share a love for music and are eager to practice for their upcoming fall concert, which will feature “Autumn Leaves” with a key solo sung in French by another resident.

Matt McKeon, their new music teacher/choir director, earns their praise.

“He whistles and he has a nice voice,” Epstein said.

“He’s a pleasure to look at too,” Sheerin mused.

They enjoy outings to supermarkets, department stores and libraries, and they also play bingo.

“When Bobbi and I won, there were six winners,” Silvestri said. “I finally win the jackpot and go ‘bingo’ and then I hear, ‘bingo, bingo, bingo.’ So, I wound up winning 82 cents.”

A kind of welcome wagon

The three friends also are resident ambassadors, helping new neighbors transition to life at The Bristal — offering tours, companionship and a friendly face during what can be an overwhelming time.

Silvestri said that when she sees someone new coming in looking a little lonely or apprehensive, she tries to put them at ease.

“We do welcome newcomers coming in,” she said. “We try to help them get acclimated.”

“We show them around,” Epstein added.

That spirit is something Silvestri said she treasures deeply. “We’re like a family here. We really are,” she said.

For these three women, aging isn’t about slowing down — it’s about continuing to grow, express and connect.

“I’m totally independent,” Silvestri said. “I do everything myself — even my finances.”

Company is never far away.

Surrounded by friends, activities and community, Silvestri, Epstein and Sheerin are redefining what golden years can look like, living lives with energy, dignity and joy.

“We’ve had a lot of tears too,” said Silvestri, referring to the friends and families they’ve lost. “So, it’s so good to laugh.”