Motivational speaker David Flood encourages students to be kind

David Flood recalled learning that when his son, Justin, was in school, he would sit alone during lunch. Justin, who has autism, was never bullied, Flood said, just “left out of things . . . forgotten.” Hearing about it crushed him.

But one Halloween night when Justin was in sixth grade, two classmates showed up at the family’s East Northport house unprompted and asked if he could join them while trick-or-treating.

This simple gesture, and the isolation that preceded it, became the emotional foundation for the motivational speeches Flood now delivers before elementary, middle and high schoolers.

“Just show up,” said Flood, 61. “Show up for people.”

Flood’s presentations focus on compassion, empathy, acceptance and inclusivity — themes shaped by Justin’s experiences and the response Flood hears from students following his talks.

“The average kid who comes up to me afterward doesn’t have autism, doesn’t have a relative with autism or know anybody with autism,” said Flood, who has worked with the nationwide agency Top Youth Speakers since 2016. “It’s a kid who is lonely, shy, anxiety-ridden, adopted, transgender, gay, the only Muslim kid in the school, the only Spanish or Asian kid. It’s not about Justin, it’s about how we all feel. People have forgotten how to be kind to each other. It’s [about] being human and how we treat each other as human beings.”

A little kindness has gone a long way for Flood, who’s now spoken at nearly 1,000 schools across 41 states and Canada. In a typical year, he speaks at about 90 schools and logs 70 flights. Videos of his assemblies have reached up to 150 million views online.

In 2023, he and Justin, now 27, co-authored “A Kids Book About Autism” to help children and their families better understand the disorder. The book, which he said is “80% Justin’s voice and 20% mine,” was released through the Oregon-based A Kids Co., now owned by DK Publishing.

“Most people are kind to me, but I am unsure of how to talk to others sometimes,” said Justin Flood. “I feel good that my struggles can help other people know that they are not alone and there are people who care.”

‘IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU’

Fresh off speaking engagements in San Jose, California, and El Paso, Texas, Flood was recently back home in East Northport for a weekend. He had a few days of rest before traveling upstate and then to New Jersey, Colorado and California again.

“I love speaking around the country. My accent kills down South and in the Midwest,” Flood said with a laugh. “But I really love speaking on Long Island because the schools here are super important to me, this is where I live and they can all use the message.”

His home, where he lives with his wife, Mary, and Justin, is also the one he grew up in. The youngest of five, he was raised by his mother, Patricia Flood, a nurse for 60 years.

Since her death in 2014, he has carried her Mass card — and her memory — everywhere he goes.

It was from her, Flood said, that he learned empathy and dignity at an early age. He recalled being a young kid and watching her save the life of a man having a heart attack in their church.

“She’d say to me, ‘David, your life’s not about you. It’s about all the people around you,’ and that’s one of the last things I say before I talk about showing up,” Flood said. “I’m sad my mom hasn’t seen my success.”

‘DAVID LOVES TO TALK’

Before becoming a motivational speaker, Flood spent two decades working for an entertainment company, selling parties and emceeing bar mitzvahs and weddings on weekends. He also volunteered in hospice care for 15 years and has been a lector at St. Anthony of Padua Roman Catholic Church in East Northport since 1988.

His motivational speaking career began in 2011, when he shared Justin’s story at Elwood Middle School through K.I.D.S. Plus Inc., a nonprofit for special needs sports programs.

“David loves to talk, but he’s good at it,” joked Mary Flood, an administrator at Plainview Hospital who moved from the Philippines to the United States in the 1980s. The couple met during a sales presentation Flood gave in 1991 and they were married in 1996. Justin was born two years later.

The early years of parenting an autistic child were overwhelming, Flood recalled.

“We knew our life was going to change drastically,” he said. Support from his sister, a speech-language pathologist, and his mother helped them navigate early intervention.

PARTIES AND SPORTS

Justin attended general education classes during his school years with a specialized lesson plan and a paraprofessional. But Flood and his wife both saw the isolation that came with being someone with special needs.

“In elementary school, all the kids eat together, and everybody gets invited to parties,” Flood said. “But in middle school, invitations for kids who have special needs or are different or quirky or neurodivergent go down. The phone doesn’t ring anymore.”

On her days off, Mary Flood said, she would bring pizza to the school and eat with Justin in the cafeteria.

“He said to me once, ‘Mommy, why can’t I be normal?’ ” she recalled. “I’d have to throw a party for him to go to a party. It was so sad.”

But moments of kindness stood out. In 2011, after seven months of learning how to ice skate, Justin wanted to play in a recreational hockey league at Superior Ice Rink in Kings Park. During the last game of the season, with 3 minutes left on the clock, the opposing team made it possible for him to skate in, take a shot and score a goal.

“My wedding ring is still bent from that, because I was hitting the Plexiglas so hard,” Flood said.

Justin’s sister, Sarah, 24, said she took on a “maternal” role early on.

“I started feeling like the older sister as I grew up and liked taking care of him,” said Sarah, an emergency department nurse at North Shore University Hospital in Manhasset. “My parents instilled in me and my brother simple manners, being respectful of other people and the idea of ‘What can you do in your part of the world to make it better?’ It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from, what you look like; everyone deserves to be treated equally and have someone to talk to.”

TOP YOUTH SPEAKERS

David Flood’s speaking career gained traction when he enrolled in classes run by Josh Shipp, a renowned motivational speaker, author and Top Youth Speakers founder. In 2016, Shipp invited Flood to join the agency’s roster of less than 30 speakers.

“At Top Youth Speakers, we exist to inspire the next generation and the adults who support them,” Shipp wrote in an email. “As a special needs father, David understands both sides of that equation deeply.”

Flood, who said his father was an alcoholic and who himself has been sober since 1990, also addresses drug and alcohol abuse prevention and making healthier lifestyle choices in his talks. He noted that while substance abuse has decreased among the young generation, anxiety has increased.

“I’m all about social interaction, bringing people together,” Flood said. “When I’m in a school, I’m locked in. There is no news, no outside world. If I just connect with a couple of kids and can start the conversation, that means a lot.”

Flood has spoken at several schools on the Island, including visiting Commack Middle School each year over the past decade.

“Any time he’s back, it’s a different atmosphere in the auditorium and then in the building when he leaves,” Principal Michael Larson said in a phone interview. “He’s incredibly engaging, passionate and warm. His message connects with all ages and types of learners.”

Flood often starts his presentations by speaking Tagalog to honor his wife’s heritage and often jokes about how his children “don’t look like” him. Flood hears from many students who share that it made them feel seen.

“So many kids come up to me and say, ‘Thanks, Mr. Flood, for talking about that because I’m adopted. I don’t look like my parents.’ ”

Ellie Kuletsky, a seventh grader at Great Hollow Middle School in Smithtown, said the day after Flood’s presentation another student came up to her and two other girls and invited them to sit at their table.

“It turns out the entire table was affected by the presentation from the day before and wanted to do something kind,” she recalled.

‘STUDENTS TOOK IT TO HEART’

Brian Dolan, principal at Accompsett Middle School in Smithtown, brought Flood to the school in November after seeing him speak in the Harborfields Central School District.

“His message was just pretty real: looking on the inside, thanking those around you and being there for each other,” Dolan said over the phone. “The students took it to heart. We’re a family, and we have to come together to make the next four years the best experience we can have.”

Looking ahead to two months full of speaking gigs, including in Pennsylvania, Connecticut, New Jersey and Delaware, Flood said he is working on a book and plans to shift his demographic focus to adults.

“There’s a Maya Angelou quote . . . ‘People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel’ — that is me,” Flood said. When asked how Justin feels about his talks, Flood beamed, “He’s seen me six to eight times. He likes the attention.”