God Squad: 'Grief fog' and signs from beyond

A: The hardest thing about signs from the other side is that they are real, but they cannot be predicted or controlled. Sometimes natural events that are not really signs appear and out of our grief we think of them as signs. I don’t know how to sort out the natural from the supernatural, but this I do know: We are loved and we are not alone. For you dear V, I pray that your life will be filled with more butterflies and cardinals and less grief. Thank you for sending me your signs.

A: No. You are simply allowing your grief to maintain a connection to your beloved wife. That is an act of love and memory. You might be in danger of crossing over to more spiritually dangerous territory if you expect your wife to respond to what you are saying to her, become angry or frustrated if she does not engage you in conversation or you pay somebody to get messages from her.

I talk to Tommy often, but now mostly my messages to him are all the same — "Thank you. I love you.”

A: May God comfort you, dear D, and your daughter and your granddaughters. Mourning changes us, and your term “grief fog” is perfect. We cannot see things clearly. We cannot think clearly. We cannot believe that we have a right to smile and laugh again. It is a deep fog. You are right. Just trust your spiritual compass. You and your family will emerge from the fog someday, probably within a year, but maybe it will take more. Sadly, the more we loved, the more time it takes to recover. Grief is the price of love. You know all this in your heart. Just be patient with your grief. Your faith will lift your fog and you will breathe again.