My Turn: Life lessons for my grandchildren

To my dear grandchildren:

After living for so many years on this Earth, I feel that I may have some valuable insights to impart to you, with the hope that they help you navigate your way through the vicissitudes of life.

First of all, let me say that the main ingredient for a happy life is a positive attitude. There’s so much to do and see, to enjoy and experience. If you’re feeling down, focus on your natural surroundings. I enjoy walking down to the marsh near my house to watch the egrets and herons fishing for their meals. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to see an osprey spread its huge wings across the cobalt sky. Find what brings you to a place of joy and visit it often.

There are bound to be some rough patches along the way, but if you can persevere and say to yourself, “I will get through this,” then you surely will. As a child, I was very shy and hesitated joining a group of my peers to act in a play. I pushed myself past my comfort zone and found that I could do it, and I actually enjoyed it.

As I discovered, inner strength builds with each challenge and will help you get through whatever comes your way. When I was in high school my guidance counselor advised me against applying to my first choice of colleges, as my SAT scores weren’t high enough. Fortunately, it all worked out and I attended the college of my choice. But if it didn’t work out? I now know that I would have been just as happy somewhere else.

You will have disappointments in your life. As a teenager, I had a boyfriend who attended a college in a different state. He was supposed to return to New York for the Christmas break. I waited with great anticipation, but he never showed up. Finally he called to say that he had met someone else the night before he left and it was over between us. You may think you can never get over a hurt like that but you do, my dears, you do.

Another bit of advice: Be strong, and make your wishes known. Speak your mind and don’t let anyone talk you out of something you really desire, especially if it is key to your happiness. Think big! Dream big! Don’t be afraid and you will accomplish great feats!

Issues with your health or the health of someone you love may interfere with your plans. In that case, all we can do is take it day by day, follow the course of treatment and hope for a good outcome. I almost lost my optimism several years ago when I discovered that I had a serious illness for which I needed treatment. When the reality hit me that my time with my family could be cut short, I fought my hardest to get through it all. How delighted I was when I was told that the treatment was successful. Can you imagine if things had gone in the other direction? I might never have even met you, Dear Grandchildren! Now, more than ever, I appreciate every conversation we have, every FaceTime visit we giggle over and every book we read together.

I know that you might make some bad decisions along the way. Just remember that there are very few things that can’t be resolved. Stay strong, get help and do whatever you have to do to fix it. Grandpa and I are always here to help you. You are not alone.

What this all boils down to is: Do what makes you happy, have a positive outlook, stay strong even when times get rough, have big dreams and don’t give up along the way, no matter what. Make a life that’s satisfying for you. And remember that I’ll always be near if you need me.

Love, Grandma

Joan Benowitz

Lido Beach