Love Story: After 2 years and no proposal, she took matters into her own hands

Paula Setteducati of Smithtown recalls her introduction to her future husband, Dave.

My friend and I decided to get our master’s degrees in education at Stony Brook University in the fall of 1970. We were both teachers at Unity Drive Elementary School in Centereach.

When we got to the campus to register for classes, my friend spotted Dave Setteducati. They had been undergraduates together at Stony Brook years earlier. She said, “Dave, this is Paula Cali.” He, too, was there to register for the master’s program. Dave said he was now teaching at Farmingdale High School.

We all had to take two courses each semester. During our conversation, he mentioned the classes he was taking. One of the courses was “Music of the People of sub-Saharan Africa.”

After he left us, I told my friend that I thought he was cute. I was thinking of signing up for one of the classes he was taking so I could get to know him. She told me that Dave was a musician and suggested I take the music class. He would be able to help me with the material.

I took her advice, but on the first day of class, Dave only gave me a glance. We did speak to each other briefly during the break, but he showed no interest. After a few more classes and chats during break, we started getting dinner together between our classes. However, he still showed no interest in me other than as a classmate.

That continued until December, when he asked me to go to a New Year’s Eve party with him at his friend’s house. We started dating and eventually Dave explained that he had a girlfriend when we first met. They had just broken up before he asked me to the party.

Dave lived in Syosset, and I lived in Stony Brook. I was 25, and he was 23. We’d go out to dinner or meet up with friends. Since we both had time off from work during the summer we’d often go to the beach.

After two years of dating and Dave not mentioning marriage, I became impatient and proposed to him.

One day I said, “Why don’t we get married?” And so we did. On July 29, 1972, we exchanged our vows at St. Gregory the Great Church in Bellerose, Queens, where I grew up. Our reception was held at Leonard’s of Great Neck.

Dave retired in 2003 as assistant principal of Saltzman East Memorial School in Farmingdale. I retired in 2007 as an assistant dean, Corporate Credit Programs, at Nassau Community College. We were both in the education field for 34 years.

We perform at local libraries with our group, “Quartetto Ducati,” playing Italian music. Dave plays guitar and sings all the songs in Italian. I sing and play percussion. And, the two of us perform 1960s music under the name “Senior Class. ” Dave also performs solo at senior centers.

Since we retired, we joined the Sons of Italy Dr. Vincenzo Sellaro Lodge 2319 in Smithtown and have learned how to make wine with several other member families.

We are reaping the fruits of our labor in many ways. We have a beautiful family made up of our two wonderful sons, our two spectacular daughters-in-law and our three awesome grandchildren, with another on the way.

In July, we celebrated our 46th anniversary with a weekend trip at Mohegan Sun casino in Connecticut. In October 2017, our two sons hosted a party to celebrate Dave’s 70th birthday.