LI women in Africa to give peace a chance

Back from a two-week trip to Africa, a group of seven women - five from Long Island - say that of all their experiences on the journey, one of the most remarkable occurred in Rwanda. There, in the land devastated by genocide in 1994, they learned a lesson in forgiveness.

"I didn't think it was possible for someone from a former Hutu, Tutsi or Batwa tribe to live next door to a neighbor responsible for the death of their loved ones," said Priscilla Hernandez of Manhattan.

In the fall, the women visited villages, built since the genocide, where residents told them it was common for people who had killed to live next to families of people who had been killed. The residents now consider themselves Rwandans instead of tribal members, they said.

The travelers use the word Amahoro - which means "peace" in the Rwandan language of Kinyarwanda - to describe themselves. In addition to Hernandez, the group included Oceanside residents Norma Loeb and Eileen Ilardo, Kathleen Casserly of Huntington, Chris Clarke of Lake Ronkonkoma, Liz Gannon-Graydon of West Hempstead and Marie Goretti Ukeye, a native Rwandan who lives in Queens.

The women - who met in 2006 when they were involved with the nonprofit organization Department of Peace, which promotes nonviolent conflict resolution - said the journey was the first of what they expect to be many. They were intent on finding out what needs to be done by asking: "What does 'better' look like for you?" Their goal now is to determine what can be achieved in Rwanda and to bring awareness to the plight of women in the Congo.

Both countries are home to thousands of refugees who fled the 1994 genocide, which resulted in 800,000 deaths.

"We concentrated efforts in the Congo and Nyrguanga Village on the outskirts of Kigali [Rwanda]," where many Rwandans are HIV-infected widows and child-headed households in need of assistance, said Casserly, 57, a counselor at Farmingdale State College.

The travelers distributed clothing, shoes and soccer balls for children and helped with "community day," the last Saturday of each month, when village neighbors repair roads and plant trees.

They also visited the Imbabazi orphanage, home to 400 children, where, they said, the children danced and joined the women in song.

The women will be paying the college tuition for four Rwandans: two 23-year-old women, each an orphan who serves as the sole support of her siblings and who plan to study business management at a local university, and two men studying information technology.

The group donated money to the Heal Africa medical center in Goma for supplies and to Nyrguanga to provide food for 60 families and to fix the leaking roof of a home there.

In what they described as an emotional visit, Casserly and Loeb met two Rwandan women, Pauline and Rose, whom they had supported for a year with monthly donations through Women for Women International, an organization that helps women in war-torn countries rebuild their lives. The money was designated to help the women learn how to care for themselves and their families. They also learn skills such as driving, sewing and planting seeds for crops that can be sold.

Ukeye, 42, who has been in America for 12 years, said she was a medical student when the genocide began. Unable to finish her studies, she sought asylum in the United States and recently became a citizen.

"My 'better' looks like focusing on the women in Rwanda," said Ukeye, an executive assistant at Zurich Financial Services in Manhattan who lives in Jamaica Estates with her husband and two children. "If you focus on the women, then families come along, and then the whole country. I would love for them to have a job to support themselves."

Ilardo, a dental hygienist who lives in Oceanside, saw a young orphan who had a broken tooth that needed treatment. She met with a dentist in Nyarutarama, a new suburb of Kigali, and asked him to offer his services, free of charge, to the children in the Imbabazi Orphanage.

He agreed.

"We are more motivated than ever now to help," said Loeb, 57, of Oceanside, an executive assistant at The New York Times Co. She said the women are determined "to raise awareness and bring hope to the Congolese and Rwandan women that the world has not forgotten them."

The women are sharing their experience on the website whatbetter

lookslike.com, which Graydon and her husband, Rob, created in 2008.