Love Story: A few weeks of dating and they were hooked

Bernie Bilawsky of North Massapequa talks about meeting his future wife, Harriette.

In the spring of 1971, I was having lunch in the faculty cafeteria at Jamaica High School in Queens where I taught business. A colleague, Fredi Proyect, walked in with a young, pretty woman with a distinctly preppy look, right down to the penny loafers. She was introduced as Harriette Farber, Fredi’s younger sister, a University of Arizona music education student home on vacation. I didn’t put much thought into the introduction as I knew she would be heading back to school soon.

Fast forward eight months to January 1972. I was in the same cafeteria when Fredi mentioned that her sister had graduated and was back home. She suggested I call her, and I did. Our first date was on a bitterly cold Saturday night in February. We saw the movie “Cabaret” followed by Chinese food at my then-favorite restaurant, Hong Fat on Mott Street. Harriette had an awful cold, but it mattered not: I was smitten. We made a date for the following week. After that date at Budd Friedman’s “Improv” in Hell's Kitchen, another favorite haunt, things began moving rapidly. We saw each other almost daily.

In a few weeks we determined that we were meant for each other and were prepared for a lifetime commitment. An engagement ring quickly followed. We married on Aug. 6, 1972, exactly six months and one day after our first date. Not wanting a large wedding, we were married in the rabbi’s study at Temple Beth El in Great Neck, the shul where Harriette had attended Hebrew school. The 16 people at our wedding included us, the rabbi, our immediate families and my closest friend and his wife.

Two weeks before our wedding we purchased a house in North Massapequa that remains our home. A friend’s wife asked why we bought a house so soon and didn’t rent until we were sure the marriage would work. I explained that, though our courtship was brief, we knew our bond was strong and permanent.

Just short of our second anniversary, our daughter, Leslie, was born; three years later, our son, Daniel, arrived. I remained a teacher in the New York City public schools by day and an adjunct business faculty member at Queensborough Community College at night. Harriette was a stay-at-home mom and an occasional substitute teacher while the children were young, but she eventually returned to full-time teaching.

I retired from the New York City Board of Education in 1995. Harriette retired a few years later, after 25 years with the renamed New York City Department of Education. Harriette remains a performing percussionist with several community groups and directs her own marching band. I teach CPR and first aid, lecture on college admissions and remain an active adjunct faculty member at Queensborough and Suffolk County community colleges.

We’ve traveled to many parts of this wonderful country as well as many overseas destinations. We purchased a second home in Florida in 1999 but determined the vaunted Florida lifestyle was not for us and sold it two years later. The activity we both love best is the time spent with our children, their spouses and our four terrific grandchildren, all of whom live right here on Long Island.

Harriette and I spend a lot of time together and, despite a lightning fast courtship, our commitment to each other has only grown, laden with much happiness and some tears. We’ve been fortunate that on the balance sheet of life: Much has come out on the asset side for us!

— With Ann Donahue-Smukler