Barbara Barkocy, Huntington PTA leader and family historian, dies at 80

After the mail carrier told Barbara Ann Barkocy that a new Huntington neighbor had children about the same ages as her own, she stopped by to introduce herself. Over tea, she welcomed the woman to the neighborhood — and persuaded her to join the Southdown PTA.

"Anybody would feel very comfortable talking to Barbara," recalled the neighbor, Patricia Weber, now of Doylestown, Pennsylvania. "She was a great listener."

Barkocy, a longtime Huntington resident who led the Southdown PTA and the Huntington school district’s Health and Safety Committee, died Oct. 9 of sepsis. She was 80.

A voice for students

Born July 1, 1946, in New York City, Barkocy spent 51 years in the same Huntington home. She volunteered at Southdown when her son entered kindergarten, helping in the library and fundraising. When the school faced possible closure, she gathered enrollment figures and records to argue against it.

"She did it for her kids," said Kathy Barnhart, a longtime friend. "She wanted them to have the best."

As president of the district’s Health and Safety Committee, Barkocy researched state safety regulations to ensure schools followed them. She and Barnhart also visited the district’s school bus company to inspect buses, speak with employees and compare models.

"We would go kick the tires of the buses before the kids went to school," Barnhart, of Huntington, recalled. They wanted to "make sure the buses were ready for our kids."

Friendships beyond the PTA

The PTA also brought friendships that lasted decades. A lunch break during Southdown field day inspired the "Breakfast Club," a group of PTA friends who began meeting on Fridays to celebrate milestones and support one another through losses.

"We laughed and cried together. For 48 years," Weber recalled.

Through their daughters’ dance lessons, Barnhart and Barkocy discovered a shared love of tap. They joined an adult class and performed for senior audiences. Barkocy, who dreamed of becoming a Rockette, danced well into 60s. 

Barnhart also encouraged Barkocy to return to college. A former New York City secretary, Barkocy earned a business degree from SUNY Old Westbury and spent more than 25 years in accounts receivable, including at Randstad in Woodbury.

Connecting generations

Her Huntington home brought generations together for Fourth of July gatherings and Christmas celebrations, with every room decked out for the holidays. "If she was invited to an event, she showed up, and she was almost always the last to leave," her daughter Kristen Pierson said.

She brought the same care to birthdays, calling relatives and shopping in person for meaningful gifts Pierson, said.

As she kept family traditions alive for younger generations, Barkocy researched those who came before them. She traveled to cemeteries and libraries in New York and Pennsylvania, and ancestral towns in Ireland, Hungary and Italy, seeking family records.

"Back in the day when you couldn’t just type in something online, she would travel to places to find those records," Pierson said.

Barkocy made headstone rubbings, traced distant cousins and compiled extensive family-history books, carefully organizing ancestral records and photographs. Her research even uncovered a relative who had been aboard the Titanic, Pierson said. "I made a promise to her that I would always preserve those records," she said.

Barkocy’s commitment to family also meant looking after relatives through difficult times. She cared for Frank Sr., her husband of more than 50 years, during his long illness. Later, when her mother suffered a fall at age 98, Barkocy welcomed her into her home and looked after her until shortly before her 102nd birthday.

"She just always put them first," Pierson said.

A devout Catholic, Barkocy never missed Sunday Mass, watching online when unable to attend in person, her daughter said. She also taught religious education at St. Patrick’s parish in Huntington, including to Pierson, and served on the church council at St. Stanislaus Kostka in Maspeth, Queens.

Survivors include her son, Frank Barkocy Jr., and his wife, DeAndra, of Carmel, Indiana; daughter, Kristen Pierson, and her husband, Michael, of Villanova, Pennsylvania; sister, Kathleen Molander, of Port Jefferson Station; and five grandchildren. She was predeceased by her husband, Frank Barkocy Sr., and her sister, Patricia Whitney.

Visitation was on Oct. 15 at M.A. Connell Funeral Home in Huntington Station. A funeral Mass was celebrated on Oct. 16 at Church of St. Patrick, followed by burial at St. Patrick’s cemetery in Huntington.