Longtime Dix Hills resident Barbara Eckhardt McIntyre dies at 93

Barbara Eckhardt McIntyre wrote her own obituary. A lover of literature, tennis and family — Bobbie, as she was affectionately known to family and friends — left behind thorough instructions on how to celebrate her passing. And her life was one for the books.

"She has no regrets, and if she could do it over again, she’d do it exactly the same way." That's what McIntyre, a longtime Dix Hills resident, wrote in her obituary, said one of her three daughters, Anne McIntyre Postman, of Los Angeles. "She was very much her own person and didn't like things being too formal or fancy. Mom was really funny, very opinionated, and was a solid person in every way."

McIntyre died on Jan. 27 at her Greenport retirement community, Peconic Landing. She was 93.

Born on May 8, 1928, in Manhattan, McIntyre grew up in Scarsdale and attended the Miss Masters Boarding School in Dobbs Ferry (now known as the Masters School). She graduated from Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts, in 1949 with a degree in English and counted the works of Jane Austen and Nora Ephron as favorites. She worked briefly for the New York Herald Tribune as a reporter for the Women’s Page. McIntyre met her late husband, Angus P. McIntyre, at Yale University.

"Schools were single-sex in those days. My mom and her girlfriend got invited to Yale by a boy she was casually seeing. While there, she met his roommate, who turned out to be my father," Postman said. "They hit it off right away and got married in 1950 in Bridgehampton."

While her husband helped build the direct-mail advertising agency O.E. McIntyre Inc., Bobbie McIntyre raised their five children on a 72-acre farm and family compound in Dix Hills. She also joined her husband in building a vacation house in Stowe, Vermont, where the family learned to ski.

"My mother did it all. She grew up playing a very solid game of tennis and kept it up until she was quite old. She also enjoyed home design and studied it informally," Postman said. "She was a skilled cook and loved the French culinary arts, sort of following in Julia Child's footsteps. She was known for her filet mignon with bearnaise sauce and Swedish meatballs."

As for her secret to living a long life, McIntyre was very fond of walking, swore by the Mediterranean Diet, and kept family as her abiding interest and love throughout her life. She even oversaw a large family celebration in honor of her 90th birthday.

"She was determined to have a big family and was a very devoted grandmother; she was very interested in and invested in the lives of her children and grandchildren," Postman said. "Mom did exactly what she wanted in life: to create a big, loving family and have a lot of fun."

In addition to her daughter Anne, McIntyre is survived by her four other children, Angus, Betsy, Jim and Katy; 10 grandchildren; and three great-grandchildren.

A private family memorial service will be held in the spring in Boston.