Carmen Socha, of Farmingdale, who instilled empathy in family members, dies at 107

Carmen Socha's long life stretched a little beyond the century mark, a life that saw struggle and purpose.

On the day of her funeral Wednesday, some of her grandchildren, now middle-aged with children of their own, reminisced how she dedicated her life to family and made a point of instilling in them empathy and compassion through the stories she told.

"She had a lot of empathy and she had a wonderful way of teaching you to feel empathy for others," said Adriana Camargo, of Farmingdale, one of Socha's 22 grandchildren. "She would tell a story about somebody who was sick. She would tell you a full story, but the goal was you would feel empathy and compassion. That was her way of teaching us anything ... She would tell us stories of kids who would go hungry," for instance. Some of those stories made Camargo cry.

In the main, Camargo said her grandmother was "very, very dedicated to her family. That was the center of her life."

Another granddaughter, Olga Schwan, of Wantagh, said her grandmother was "very sweet" and "dedicated to her children and grandchildren" as well as great-great-grandchildren. 

Schwan noted that Socha's funeral, held at St. Kilian Roman Catholic Church in Farmingdale, came one day before what would have been her grandmother's 108th birthday on July 3. Socha died at St. Joseph Hospital in Bethpage last Saturday from natural causes, her family said. "Her body was starting to shut down," Schwan said. 

Schwan thought one of the reasons her grandmother lived so long was due to the care from Schwan's mother, Myriam Provenzano, with whom Socha lived since 1998 after leaving her native country, Colombia. Provenzano brought both of her parents, Carmen and Roberto Socha, to New York, first to Jackson Heights, and later moving to Farmingdale, Schwan said. Roberto Socha predeceased his wife.

Asked if Carmen Socha offered any insights about living a long life, Schwan said, "In my opinion, I think her recipe [for a long life] was my mom. My mom was completely dedicated to her. She watched over every aspect of her diet, medication, taking her to doctors."

Socha's grandchildren said their grandmother didn't always have it easy. "The difficulties in her life led to inner strength," Camargo said.

"When she was young, she was pregnant with my mom when she lived in Colombia. At the time there was a civil war, she lived through that period of time in Colombia," Camargo said. "She had to leave her town, to move, to hide ... She had to do this with a pregnant belly and small kids."

Carmen Rosa Ardila was born in 1917 in Socorro, Colombia, before her family moved and she was raised in San Gil, Colombia, the family said. By the time her husband died, "They had been together 70 years," Camargo said. "She was in a wheelchair, she said she wanted to run. She was desperate" for her partner. "She said it with such anguish," Camargo said.

Camargo added that her grandmother bore seven children, but one, who was a twin, died in infancy. "That's got to be a horrible thing to happen." Another child died about eight years ago from cancer at age 63, according to Schwan. 

A grandson, Carlos Urbano of Farmingdale, said Socha "was the sweetest person I every met." But she was also someone, he said, who faced adversity with steadfastness. "In the hardest situations she maintained calm," he said. "She always faced the situation with strength." Urbano, a Navy veteran who said he served in Iraq and Afghanistan, added, "Everything I am today I owe to her."

Socha's survivors include five children, daughters Ana Mendoza of Colombia and Myriam Provenzano of Farmingdale, and sons Arnold Socha, Roberto Socha and Benigno Socha, all of Colombia; 22 grandchildren; an unknown number of great-grandchildren; and three great-great-grandchildren.

Socha was buried at St. Charles Cemetery in Farmingdale.

By Olivia Winslow

olivia.winslow@newsday.com@newsollie