Pamela Raymond, 'Queen of Sayville' who ran popular restaurant, dies at 83

When Pamela Raymond said the words "I’ve got an idea," anything could happen. It could mean fighting to save school speech services, building a performance pavilion or persuading Sayville residents to pose for a cheeky fundraiser calendar.

"OK, here we go. Buckle up. Pam’s got an idea," recalled her friend Eileen Tyznar, of West Sayville, president emeritus and administrator of the Greater Sayville Chamber of Commerce.

Raymond, actress, restaurateur and larger-than-life civic force whose devotion to Sayville earned her the nickname Queen of Sayville, died Aug. 14 at her Sayville home after battling Parkinson’s disease and lung cancer. She was 83.

Born April 27, 1943, in Port Chester, Raymond was the oldest of 10 children of William V. Raymond Sr. and Jean Fehrs Raymond. She briefly studied theater at Northwestern University before training at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts.

She landed her first major acting role in 1965 as Hope Ames on the daytime soap opera "The Secret Storm," later acted on- and off-Broadway and toured nationally with Tallulah Bankhead in "Glad Tidings."

After the 1983 death of Reynold "Rennie" Church, whom her family described as the love of her life, Raymond confronted her dependence on alcohol. She embraced sobriety, joined Alcoholics Anonymous and remained sober for the rest of her life, her family said.

"She dug down deep and gave up alcohol, and she never looked back," said her younger brother, John Raymond.

John Raymond said his sister admired Sayville's "by-your-bootstraps" spirit and became a staunch supporter of veterans, firefighters and police. In 1986, she bought and reopened The Sayville Inn, a restaurant and tavern that became a popular gathering place.

But Pamela Raymond’s investment in Sayville stretched far beyond the walls of her restaurant. She became a driving force in organizations including the Greater Sayville Chamber of Commerce, Rotary Club of Sayville, Sayville Food Pantry, Splashes of Hope and Sayville Village Improvement Society.

As a founding commissioner of Keep Islip Clean, Raymond helped create a junior commissioner program to involve students in environmentalism.

Her flair also produced one of Sayville’s more memorable fundraisers: a calendar featuring the local letter carrier, police officer, business owners and others posing with strategically placed props.

"Only Pam could convince 12 different groups to do something like this," said Pamela Greene, of Bayport, a past president of Sayville Rotary. "She just got things done with a sense of enthusiasm and excitement that made you want to be on her team."

That determination helped shape the Common Ground at Rotary Park. Greene said the community space grew from conversations after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, when Rotarians wanted something positive to emerge from the tragedy.

Drawing on her theater background, Raymond pushed for a performance space that became The Pamela Raymond Performance Pavilion, now used for concerts and community gatherings.

"She believed that art was important," Greene said. "She made this into a community gathering place that now lives on."

Raymond exerted her influence in personal ways as well.

Tyznar met Raymond more than three decades ago as she planted flower bulbs near Main Street.

Weeks later, when Tyznar was diagnosed with cancer and her son was undergoing evaluations for developmental issues, Raymond stepped in. She brought over meals, helped with errands and welcomed Tyznar’s son into Rotary events, calling him her grandson.

When Tyznar asked how she could repay her, Raymond answered: "Just give your time and give your service to your community. That’s all I could ever ask."

Tyznar said she took Raymond’s advice seriously, joining community organizations and giving back to Sayville, as Raymond had inspired countless others to do.

Whether riding through Sayville on her pink bicycle in one of her signature hats or turning a doctor’s waiting room into a social gathering, Raymond had a way of drawing people in.

After one difficult scan, Tyznar emerged from an appointment more than an hour later worried Raymond had been waiting. Instead, she found her surrounded by doctors and nurses.

"Everybody’s laughing," Tyznar recalled. "She seemed to be the belle of the ball. ... That was her in a nutshell."

Raymond is survived by siblings Jean Blaser, of Holmes Beach, Florida; Kathy Nessen and Sherrill Given, both of Middlebury, Vermont; Bill Raymond Jr., of Brookfield, Connecticut; Corey Anger, of Sound Beach; Michael Raymond, of Rye, New Hampshire; Abby Crosby, of Jacksonville, Vermont; and John Raymond, of Sayville.

A memorial visitation was held Aug. 22 at Raynor & D’Andrea Funeral Home in West Sayville. Her family said her ashes will be scattered over the dunes of Davis Park on Fire Island.