Patricia Doelger, teacher at LI Catholic schools, dies at 72

Her faith shaped the life of Patricia Doelger, who grew up in a deeply religious family in which Catholicism became her cornerstone.

"Her father taught her to live what the religion spoke as much as what were the rules," and both parents knew Catholicism was why she became a good person, her husband, Paul Doelger, said.

It even guided her career. She'd been a stay-at-home mother until her eldest son began high school. Then she taught at schools at Christ the King (which became Holy Family Regional) in Commack, Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Lindenhurst and Ss. Cyril and Methodius in Deer Park.

His mother left a lasting impact on her students, said Brian Doelger, Patricia's middle son and superintendent of the Shelter Island school district. A teacher in the school district who was a student of his mother sent him a tray of cookies, along with a card describing his mother as a "sweet, kind and devoted teacher to all of our family at Holy Family."

Patricia Doelger died on Jan. 6 at her Kings Park home. She was 72.

Family and the Fab Four

Born on March 24, 1953, in Brooklyn, Patricia was the eldest of three girls and she was protective of her younger sisters, her family said. They described her as a hard act to follow.

She attended St. Vincent Ferrer High School in Manhattan, earned her bachelor’s degree at St. John’s University, and her master's in education at Dowling College.

In January 1974, 20-year-old Patricia Grady attended a house party in Ridgewood, Queens, with friends. There, she met 21-year-old Paul Doelger, who was smitten as soon as he saw her.

"So I went over and introduced myself, and we spoke for a good part of the evening, and as I was speaking to her, I was falling in love with her," Doelger said.

That night, he knew he was "gonna marry that girl."

Six months later the two were engaged, and a little over a year after that, Paul and Patricia were married.

"She was everything I could have asked for in any young woman," he said.

Another love of her life: The Beatles.

"They were her Number One favorite," her husband said.

"She had an affinity for Paul McCartney. She loved his music, she loved his sound, she loved the way he was a person," he said. Paul Doelger mused that Patricia married him because he shared the same first name with the famous singer.

Loving mother and wife

After they wed, the Doelgers had Christopher, while living in Ridgewood, Queens. The family then moved to Commack, where they had Brian and Matthew, before moving to Kings Park.

"We had really, from my eyes, the best childhood possible," said Brian, describing summer days spent at his maternal grandparents' house, playing outside and with their cousins.

"I wholeheartedly believe that there is nobody in this world that could have been a better mother to us and a better wife to my dad than she was. She was simply the best," Chris said.

Patricia’s strong sense of faith was passed down to her children, who all were altar servers and would accompany her to Mass at St. Joseph’s Church in Kings Park and Christ the King Church in Commack (followed by breakfast at Friendly’s in the summer), her family said.

Patricia and Paul also inspired their children to always reach for the stars, and "we were allowed to take risks and encouraged to, because we had the support of our family," said Matthew, who started a seafood importing and wholesale business out of his parents' Commack house.

It was important to Patricia that all family members were close, and every phone call ended with "I love you."

"And now Brian, Chris, and my children, we take pride that they are very close," Matthew said.

Her funeral Mass was celebrated at Church of St. Joseph in Kings Park on Jan. 10. She was buried in St. Charles Cemetery in East Farmingdale.

Along with her husband, Paul, Patricia Doelger's survivors include sons Christopher (Michele) Doelger, Brian (Meghan) Doelger and Matthew (Andrea) Doelger; sisters Mary (Ralph) DiDomenico and Margaret (Patrick) Costello; and grandchildren Lily, Faith, Matthew, Olivia, Claire, and Maeve.