Raffaele 'Ralph' Stile, longtime educator from Ronkonkoma, dies at 90

Raffaele "Ralph" Stile had a knack for fixing things, his family said. Whether it was trying to level the family camper on a camping trip in New England or hammering the Christmas tree stand to the living room floor, Stile brought smiles to the faces of everyone who knew and loved him.

"He gave us a lot of funny memories over the years and always had a funny joke," said Stile's daughter Theresa "Terri" Stile of upstate Ballston Spa.

The Ronkonkoma resident died peacefully in a hospital on May 19 of heart failure at the age of 90.

Raffaele Stile was born on March 21, 1936, in Lynbrook. He graduated from the SUNY Oswego, in 1959, where he earned his teaching degree and played for the Oswego Lakers basketball team.

Soon after graduation, Stile married his first wife, Janet Flugger. In September of that same year, Stile was drafted into the Army, reporting to Fort Dix, New Jersey. He was then transferred to Germany where his wife joined him and welcomed their first child. Although they divorced after 25 years of marriage, the couple remained close friends and raised three daughters: Terri Stile, Kim Dembek, of Ridge and Karen Stile, of Flagler Beach, Florida.

The couple moved to Long Island in 1966 and Stile began working as an elementary school teacher at Lynwood Elementary School in the Sachem Central School District. He later served as the principal of Lynwood Avenue and Nokomis Elementary Schools, where he met his longtime partner, teacher Linda Marlowe. Upon retirement, Stile remained close to academics and served multiple terms as a member of the Sachem Board of Education.

According to Stile's stepdaughter, Monica Saleh, a high school biology and environmental science teacher, Stile had "high standards for his students and staff and made learning both effective and fun."

"I always remember how fun he made special occasions, like sports night. He would dress up, making great memories for everyone who attended," said Saleh, of Lake Grove. "He genuinely wanted what was best for all Sachem students, and in every decision he made, he always kept their best interests at heart. He truly cared for every student and family as if they were his own."

Cared about people

Saleh said Stile had been a father figure for the past 40 years.

"He was a man who truly cared about the people in his life and was always willing to help someone if he could," she said. "He was genuinely generous without ever expecting anything in return."

Stile possessed a lifelong love of the outdoors and enjoyed fishing, boating, kayaking, camping and birding, his family said. He was an avid conservationist and duck hunter and "loved showing off his different duck and goose calls."

"Ralph’s happiest moments were spent outdoors with family and the people he was closest to, especially when he was 'captain' of whichever fishing boat he had at the time on the Great South Bay and Fire Island or, at his Florida home on Gottfried Creek," Saleh said.

Stile also played basketball recreationally for many years, she said. "Some of my earliest and best memories are from the trips he took us on; camping at North Lake and the Narrows of Lake George, visiting his cabin in the Adirondacks on Great Sacandaga Lake. His legacy lives on through me, my children, and all of my students whom I share the outdoors with."

"My father was truly a singular and special person who impacted many lives," said Terri Stile. "His legacy will live on in their hearts for the way he made them feel, the ways in which he helped them; his generosity of spirit and time; and his funny, but gentle, sense of humor."

In addition to his three daughters, Ralph is survived by his partner, Linda Marlowe; stepdaughters Monica Saleh and Melissa Albrecht; nine grandchildren; and one great-grandchild.

There was a small private service for family and friend, then a celebration of life for all who knew him on June 12 in Ronkonkoma. Donations were made to the Seatuck Environmental Association.