Rev. Natalie Fenimore, minister at Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Shelter Rock, dies at 68

The Rev. Natalie Fenimore put the needs of her congregation first and believed religion should be welcoming to people, family and friends said.

Fenimore, who joined the Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Shelter Rock ministry in 2013, was contemplative and considerate of "balancing the needs of the community relative to what one imagines they would benefit from hearing," said the Rev. Anne Bancroft, sabbatical minister at the First Parish Church in Weston, Massachusetts.

Her core tenets, including not carrying grudges and being eager to forgive, were shaped by storefront Baptist churches she observed while growing up in Detroit, said her husband, Charles Fenimore.

"She was sort of respectful of what her choice would mean for how she lived her faith and how she observed the people around her professionally and in the congregations, being invited to live that faith as well," said Bancroft, who met Fenimore about 25 years ago while they served on the board of the Liberal Religious Educators Association.

The Rev. Natalie Fenimore, lead minister and minister of religious education at Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Shelter Rock, died on April 15 at the Mary Ann Tully Hospice Inn in Melville. She was 68.

Faith From a Young Age

Natalie was born in Alabama on Feb. 20, 1958, but grew up in a racially tense Detroit, where she found herself drawn to those storefront churches.

"She and her sister were going around to these places to discover there was a rich cultural heritage there, and I think she sort of found that a great inspiration, and the message of loving one another," her husband said.

"And I think that the message of these Black churches appealed to her very much in terms of loving the world," he said.

Charles Fenimore met her in 1978; he was impressed by her knowledge of classic poems, he said.

"I was giving [the] end of semester exam, and was quoting from the poem Ulysses ...‘How dull it is to pause to make an end,’ and she completed the couplet, ‘To rust unburnish’d, not to shine in use!’ " Charles said.

"And I said ‘oh, there’s something there,’ " he said.

Four years later, the two married. They had two children, and Natalie became a stepmother to Charles’ two children from a previous marriage.

Although Natalie’s faith had been a part of her life since she was a child, the couple did not raise their children overtly Christian. The only church the children attended regularly was a Unitarian congregation in Rockville, Maryland.

"There was no mention of ‘you are a Christian,’ but ... the teachings of Jesus were certainly present," Charles said.

"So it was the matter of being kind to other people, treating others as you wish to be treated, that certainly was part of their upbringing," he said of their children.

A thoughtful reverend

Charles and Natalie moved to Roslyn from Maryland in 2013 after she accepted her position at Shelter Rock as the minister for religious education. She had a vision of a religion "that could speak and welcome people regardless of all the barriers we have in this world, including the racial barriers," her husband said.

Fenimore, who received her doctor of ministry from Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, D.C., in 2018, was a contributor to Newsday’s Ask The Clergy column, where she tackled hard-hitting issues and ideas related to faith.

"Whether she was commenting on a hot-button issue like climate change, or a lighter topic like the role of the arts in religion, Reverend Fenimore regularly provided really thoughtful, meaningful answers to our questions," said Ask The Clergy writer Jim Merritt in an email.

"She was a word magician who could weave together a knowledge of history, the arts and her faith in an emotionally impactful essay," he said.

Along with her husband, she is survived by their children John and Helen; stepchildren Paul and Rachel; step grandchildren and her sister, Hermanetta Smith.

A celebration of life and memorial service will be on May 30 at 1 p.m. at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Shelter Rock, 48 Shelter Rock Rd., Manhasset.