'The Guys,' honoring FDNY engine's loss on 9/11, to play in Greenport

When Kevin Shea dons an FDNY uniform to portray a grieving fire captain onstage, the lines blur between stepping into character and real life.

The 59-year-old from Baiting Hollow draws from his own experiences of Sept. 11, 2001, for his role in “The Guys." The production plays at the North Fork Arts Center in Greenport on Sunday to mark the 25th anniversary of the terrorist attacks.

Written by journalist Anne Nelson in late 2001, the play follows a New York City fire captain working with a writer to eulogize his eight fallen firefighters. Nelson based the 90-minute drama on her own experiences helping a captain in the aftermath of 9/11.

Then 34, Shea’s shift at his Engine 40/Ladder 35 firehouse was ending just as the north tower was struck.

He grabbed his gear and jumped on a truck that raced to Ground Zero. He recalled an eerie quiet on the rig and asking a lieutenant if he thought this was a terrorist attack while watching a colleague write his Social Security number on his calf in marker.

Shea and the 12 men he responded alongside were buried in the rubble when the towers collapsed. He was the only one who survived.

In the 25 years since, Shea has grappled with a swinging pendulum of emotions: thankful to be alive, coping with survivor’s guilt and trying to piece together what he could remember. Taking part in the play has helped Shea process, reflect and find catharsis — something he hopes to convey to audiences in turn.

“Most of the guys in my house were senior men. They had been around for a while; they had a lot more talent. They had a lot to offer people for the years to come, but it was stopped by a terrorist attack,” Shea said in an interview. “This play is a tribute to those guys that did it and never came back, but they knew what they were going into.”

'He's not acting'

There are two free performances on Sunday at 2 p.m. and 6 p.m. with a talk back after the matinee with Nelson, the playwright. Shea is also participating in separate readings of the play in Manhattan: Friday at 4 p.m. at Saint John’s in the Village and Monday at The Center at West Park at 7 p.m.

Stephen Ness, of Aquebogue, is producing the show at the North Fork Arts Center with his wife, Judith. The couple wanted to do something meaningful to mark the 25th anniversary.

“It’s a very human story about loss, courage, remembrance,” Ness said in an interview, adding it’s a moment to remember the responders who rushed toward danger. “ 'The Guys' really honors that extraordinary sacrifice.”

Eileen Trilli, of Southold, who plays the character of the writer in the Greenport production, said there’s a “heaviness” she feels onstage opposite Shea.

“He’s not acting … this is a very lived and real experience,” Trilli said, adding the experience demonstrates how powerful art can be to channel grief.

“When you make a tragedy like this human … it makes it personal. It makes it real, so that makes us less likely to perpetrate that kind of horror on others,” she said.

For Shea, the play also represents how Americans united in the aftermath of the attacks.

“There was a sense of unity before we started pointing fingers at an enemy,” he said.

Relearning it

Shea returned to his firehouse on light duty after recovering from serious injuries, including three fractures in his neck, retrograde amnesia, a subdural hematoma and the loss of part of his thumb. He retired in 2004 and set out on a new adventure: building his geodesic dome house on the East End.

In the years since, he’s become a master gardener and gotten involved in community theater. He ran for a spot on the Riverhead Town Board but came up short. Last year, he met the man who rescued him from the rubble — a paramedic named Al Kim — for the first time through the National Geographic documentary series "9/11: Reunited."

Kim combed through the wreckage and helped stabilize Shea’s neck, which he credits for sparing him from paralysis.

“It has a little sense of closure for me,” Shea said of the reunion. “He put himself at risk to save me.”

Earlier this year, Shea began volunteering with the Riverhead Fire Department, longing for camaraderie and a sense of duty.

“The firehouse was a community; it was a sort of melting pot,” he said.

It’s comforting to have the radio tethered to him at all times, though he said he feels a pang of guilt when he switches it off for rehearsals, which he must now juggle with fire department meetings and trainings.

“I’m a 59-year-old probie,” he said. “I want to go through all the training. I want to relearn it.”